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Shadow of dreams....

	I never thought she would forget
	I never thought she would forget

My mom had a really bad day yesterday....last night she was lying in bed, her arms crossed and fists clenched...her eyes were open and she was staring at nothing, they didnt move when i went in....I thought she was dead, but then i saw her breathe. Our friend who is a nurse said that she had catitonia, where they stay in one position for hours and dont respond, like that one guy on the green mile, percy i think was his name...
We called to her, trying to bring her back, she didnt respond, he tried to wake her up in various ways, even with cold water. Eventually she started to come out of it.....he asked her questions, "Who am i, do you know who i am?" she would nod, but she never answered. She never spoke and then she started to go back into it......she looked at him as if he was trying to hurt her, she listend to every word but never took his eyes off him. Then he asked if she knew me......she looked at me with a question in her eyes....she didnt know me....we had been together for sixteen years, we are best friends, she is my mother and she couldn't remember me, He kept asking and asking and each time she would look at me with that question......Now i know what it feels like to be forgotten, now i know what it feels like to be entirly alone, and my whole world right there, and so far away....my whole world taken away....I have never been so scared in my life.

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Tell me I can't,
I'll prove that I can.

Tell me that I'm not worth it,
I'll show you that I'm worth more.

Love me or hate me
Take me or leave me

But you won't change me.
I am confident. I am strong. I know who I am.

shadow_kaija · Fri Jul 13, 2007 @ 04:03pm · 0 Comments


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