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i hate this. i am obsessing over james. i can not get him out of my head...i love him...and he hates me. i hate it that whenever he says my name, i cant get his voice to go away. i hate it that whenever he left, i watched the footsteps that he took and just stood there. i hate it that i cant get him out of my head. i hate it that i find myself just staring off into space, not doing anything, just thinking about him. i hate it that i cant sleep at night because im thinking about him. i hate it that i believe all the lies that hes said and yet still jsut let him lie to me. i hate it that i love him. i hate his girlfriend, in fact im jealous of her because she has him. but i would never take him away from anyone who hes happy with because i love him. i cant get him away from me. i cant get him out of my head. listen to me! ive got a boyfriend...and im obsessing over someone else. i want him to die, but i dont. i love him soo much....but i cant have him in my life. every time i get on gaia, i think...James showed me this. i always think back to that first day i met him. and i remember every single detail. i remeber that when we were sittin in the internet cafe, he tilted my head up and kissed me. just now i find myself smiling about it. i hate it though. i love him and i hate it. but i dont understand....why am i having these feelings for him...i shouldnt be. ive never felt this strongly about anyone....but i just cant get rid of him! his face is emplanted in my memory. his phone number is memorized in my head. i just cant be feeling this for him though. hes got a gf and hes happy with her. i know for a fact she loves him soo much..but i just cant..cant put up with it. i dont know what to do...