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The film begins with a live action credit sequence, in which a group of pirates retrieve tickets to The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie. The film then cuts to Bikini Bottom, where amidst chaos, Mr. Krabs, the boss of popular fast food restaurant the Krusty Krab, has a problem: a customer who ordered a Krabby Patty got it without cheese. Suddenly, SpongeBob SquarePants, the manager, comes to the rescue. With his briefcase full of James Bond-like gear, he takes out a piece of cheese, slowly puts the cheese in the Krabby Patty. and the day is saved. The whole scene reveals itself to be SpongeBob's dream.

Meanwhile, Mr. Krabs is preparing the grand opening of the Krusty Krab 2, which is an exact replica of the original. Hoping to become the new manager is SpongeBob, the Krusty Krab's head cook.

Plankton, arch-nemesis and business rival of Mr. Krabs, who constantly wants to steal Mr. Krabs's formula to the Krabby Patty, is planning his ultimate final plot, the dreaded Plan Z. At the opening of the Krusty Krab 2, SpongeBob's lazy coworker, Squidward, is given the manager title instead, as Mr. Krabs tells a heartbroken SpongeBob that he is too immature and childlike to handle the task. Meanwhile, Plankton arrives at the castle of King Neptune, who is prevented from declaring a ridiculous prison sentence by his intelligent teenage daughter Mindy. Neptune, who is balding, is then horrified to discover that his crown is missing, having been stolen by Plankton.

SpongeBob arrives at Goofy Goober's, a popular children's restaurant, to brood over his loss. His best friend Patrick arrives and joins him in a Triple Gooberberry Sunrise (ice-cream) eating spree, and SpongeBob experiences hangover-like symptoms the morning afterwards. Meanwhile, Neptune arrives at the Krusty Krab after receiving false evidence of Mr. Krabs stealing his crown. SpongeBob arrives and insults Mr. Krabs out of spite, but then decides to try to save him from being executed. He and Patrick agree to travel to the dreaded Shell City, where Mr. Krabs has allegedly sold the crown, and return with it. Before departing, Mr. Krabs is frozen solid and Mindy, who Patrick develops a crush on, gives the duo a magical bag of winds to return home with. This is an reference to the Odyssey.

With six days to retrieve the crown, SpongeBob and Patrick's hamburger-like vehicle, the Patty Wagon, is stolen by a gangster. Later, they find it parked at the Thug Tug, a bar for tough, muscular fish. Unable to obtain the car's key, they begin to blow bubbles, which is a sign of weakness by the rules of the gang. A fistfight as to who blew the bubbles results, allowing them to steal the key amidst the confusion and depart. The following day, Plankton begins controlling the minds of the townspeople through electronic bucket-shaped hats, disguised as free souvenir hats, ultimately taking over Bikini Bottom and re-naming it "Planktopolis." He also sends Dennis, a motorcycle-riding hitman, to eliminate SpongeBob and Patrick.

SpongeBob and Patrick are then chased by a large sea monster, ultimately ending in the death of the monster and the loss of their car. Unable to pass through a monster-filled trench, SpongeBob gives up and accepts the fact that he and Patrick are just children. However, Mindy arrives and gives them fake mustaches in the form of seaweed, convincing them that they are now men. They pass through the trench without fear, but are greeted on the other side by Dennis. He reveals that they are not really men before being stepped on by a human scuba diver, who takes SpongeBob and Patrick to the surface.

He takes them to Shell City, which is revealed to be a gift shop that sells novelties made out of dried sea creatures. SpongeBob and Patrick discover the fish within the shop, but are completely dried up by being placed under a heat lamp to dry. However, their tears electrocute a wire and cause the sprinkler system to activate, reviving them and all the other sea creatures, who lead an assault against the diver. The duo take the crown and flee, but Patrick ends up using the bag of winds the wrong way, losing it. However, David Hasselhoff arrives and takes them across the ocean at a jet's speed.

Dennis arrives, however, and attempts to crush SpongeBob and Patrick with his boot, but is hit by an oncoming boat. As the duo arrive over Bikini Bottom, King Neptune is about to execute Mr. Krabs, but is stalled by Mindy. Hasselhoff opens his pectoral muscles and shoots the duo into Bikini Bottom, where Krabs is saved and Hasselhoff is burned by Neptune's trident. However, Plankton's hypnotized minions attack the heroes, and SpongeBob makes a speech about maturity before breaking out into a bizarre rock song (parodying Twisted Sister's song "I Wanna Rock" wink ; using his guitar's powers, SpongeBob destroys the mind-control buckets and frees the citizens from Plankton's rule, who is then sent to jail.

In the aftermath, Neptune reaches an understanding not only with Mr. Krabs but also with his daughter, and then thanks SpongeBob and Patrick. Finally, Squidward gives SpongeBob the title of manager, much to his delight.

But during the end credits, pictures are shown of SpongeBob's job as manager. Which isn't what we thought it would be. Such as, mopping the floors, taking out the trash, and Mr. Krabs raising his hand (meaning a "raise" wink . Even though SpongeBob enjoys it all.