Things you would say about your car, but not about your girlfriend.
I pushed her off a cliff for the insurance money.
She had four previous owners.
She has room for five.
I use her every day.
She takes a long time to warm up.
She has exhaust problems.
Don't you hate it when your friends return her all banged up?
I don't feel bad about letting my friends take her for a ride.
Things can get ugly if you stick anything in her exhaust pipe.
After I got her back, she was a total wreck.
The insurance agent decided she was totaled, and gave me a check for a new one.
I drove her so hard her rims fell off.
You have to crank start her.
She's got a short in her wiring.
I'm trading her in for a newer model.
She blows a lot of fuses.
She's still in the previous owner's name.
I tried to sell her for scrap.
Her plugs are blown.
After a lube job, she'll purr like a kitten.
She starts to rattle after being driven for a while.
You should check her fluids regularly after a long ride.
You can stick it in all the way, but the dip stick never gets wet.
She got hit from both ends last night.
Her carpet needs to be shampooed.
She was involved in a 4 way collision recently.
They gave me documentation saying she is certified pre-owned.
No officer. She hit a tree.
Well they won't find her any time soon.
I should have never gotten her.
All my money goes to keeping her.
What? She's just a loaner.
There may be more to come. Feel free to leave a comment with a few if you feel like creating some. Only the good ones will be added though.
-Edit-
By leave a comment with jokes, I really meant ones themed around the journal topic for the jokes for now. I may try to do some other themed entry for jokes later on.
