Right! Well...as most of you..well...one you you in particularly *cough cough* Dige! *cough cough* have seen, I haven't written in this thing for a long time! Truth be told, I'm not really the kind of person who can keep up with a journal every single freaking day! I doing good just to get one a week. I donno, I guess I get distracted easily...actually, scratch that...I do! So! To make it worth your while and not simply waste your precious bumping time, I'll actually write something.
I'm in college now. w00t! I'm no longer the "sweet and innocent little high school girl" that people figured me by...at least by the people who didn't know me that well. I thought it would be easy. Well, not "easy" persay, but I thought that it'd only be a slight more challenging than high school was. Nope! In high school, I never studied. Never! In fact, I don't know how to! Studying to me was leafing through the text and notes and just scanning over them, sometimes actually stopping to seriously read over something that I didn't quite understand, but that was always enough. And homework! It'd take me under an hour to finish everything, maybe 1-2 hours if I had to write a serious essay. But that was it! The rest of the time I was either writing on "Guardiang Genesis", sketcing, painting, watch tv, online, or hanging with friends. Now, I barely have time enough do do a simple doodle. And that sucks drastically because I run an art shoppe and still have at least two commisions to do. --I apologize to those people for being so FREAKING slow at finishing them for you. But I swear I will!--
Not only that, I'm probably nearly failing many of my classes. Why? I'm an irresponsible bum that loves to procrastinate! My Chemistry Lab requires the students to do a pre-lab before they do the actual lab. Have I done them? Not one! Why? I get caught up in everything else and forget about all that I have to do. I hate it! I was such a good student in high school. Now I'm skipping classes because I stay up too late. You say, "then go to bed earlier". I would, but some things...some people...are worth staying up for. They're the ones that make college life worth while.
I wouldn't say that I'm anti-social. I like people...well...at least the non-stupid/arrogant ones. But I just normally stick to myself most of the time unless I'm with a really close group of friends. I enjoy the whole one-on-one deal. You get to know people so much better that way. One in particular........it confuses me to no end..........but I'm happy. Well...torn and dissappointed....but happy at the same time. I want to help; I want to help in any way possible. But there's nothing really that I can do. Only time can truely heal what needs to be healed; I can only distract and cover the symptoms....like a pain pill, I'm no real cure, which is what I want to be. I want to take all the pain away...all the depression and sadness. I know how much it hurts, I've been there. For two full years, I've been there. And I can't stand the thought and knowledge that he's going through the same thing. I hate seeing him upset; seeing the torture in his eyes when he's trying to look happy. I feel so helpless, like I can't do anything. And that's just it....I can't. It's not my place, I don't have the ability to. All I can do is be there to offer continuous support and comfort. I want to do more...but for now, that's what I'll do. I'll always be there...............always. Like the other side of the mirror (but not in the really creepy way). I just want to see him happy. Even if it means I have to give up some of mine.....because in the end, it's not worth it.
I'm in college now. w00t! I'm no longer the "sweet and innocent little high school girl" that people figured me by...at least by the people who didn't know me that well. I thought it would be easy. Well, not "easy" persay, but I thought that it'd only be a slight more challenging than high school was. Nope! In high school, I never studied. Never! In fact, I don't know how to! Studying to me was leafing through the text and notes and just scanning over them, sometimes actually stopping to seriously read over something that I didn't quite understand, but that was always enough. And homework! It'd take me under an hour to finish everything, maybe 1-2 hours if I had to write a serious essay. But that was it! The rest of the time I was either writing on "Guardiang Genesis", sketcing, painting, watch tv, online, or hanging with friends. Now, I barely have time enough do do a simple doodle. And that sucks drastically because I run an art shoppe and still have at least two commisions to do. --I apologize to those people for being so FREAKING slow at finishing them for you. But I swear I will!--
Not only that, I'm probably nearly failing many of my classes. Why? I'm an irresponsible bum that loves to procrastinate! My Chemistry Lab requires the students to do a pre-lab before they do the actual lab. Have I done them? Not one! Why? I get caught up in everything else and forget about all that I have to do. I hate it! I was such a good student in high school. Now I'm skipping classes because I stay up too late. You say, "then go to bed earlier". I would, but some things...some people...are worth staying up for. They're the ones that make college life worth while.
I wouldn't say that I'm anti-social. I like people...well...at least the non-stupid/arrogant ones. But I just normally stick to myself most of the time unless I'm with a really close group of friends. I enjoy the whole one-on-one deal. You get to know people so much better that way. One in particular........it confuses me to no end..........but I'm happy. Well...torn and dissappointed....but happy at the same time. I want to help; I want to help in any way possible. But there's nothing really that I can do. Only time can truely heal what needs to be healed; I can only distract and cover the symptoms....like a pain pill, I'm no real cure, which is what I want to be. I want to take all the pain away...all the depression and sadness. I know how much it hurts, I've been there. For two full years, I've been there. And I can't stand the thought and knowledge that he's going through the same thing. I hate seeing him upset; seeing the torture in his eyes when he's trying to look happy. I feel so helpless, like I can't do anything. And that's just it....I can't. It's not my place, I don't have the ability to. All I can do is be there to offer continuous support and comfort. I want to do more...but for now, that's what I'll do. I'll always be there...............always. Like the other side of the mirror (but not in the really creepy way). I just want to see him happy. Even if it means I have to give up some of mine.....because in the end, it's not worth it.
He is.
"A true friend isn't the one who bails you out of jail,
They're the one sitting next to you saying, "Dude! We so kicked a**!"
"What is a friend? A single soul dwelling in two bodies."
