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My Adventures In Wonderland
“When you're taught to love everyone, to love your enemies, then what value does that place on love?”
Love Is Like Heaven But Can Hurt Like Hell
Why can't I just be loved like other people are? I wish he would just love me...I guess I'm unlovable because no one seems to love me int he way I need to be loved...I can't be single it's impossible for me to live if I'm single. But no one that I love is willing to take a risk on me...so I will be alone forever. I'm tired of him not loving me and I'm tired of being alone so I have to kill myself to stop loving him then it won't hurt anymore then he can't hurt me anymore. It seems I am trapped, thus the new name on here and myspace....I don't know once Jon get's online I'm sure he'll cheer me up he always manages to do that with his amazing self...
I guess I should just relax and try not to think about it and try to just work things out in my mind...But the thought of being happy again seems so impossible I haven't been happy since August, I barley remember the feeling. I wish I had someone to remind me of how it felt to be happy...but none of my other wishes have come true why should this one be any different ?
On top of that I'm getting ill from cutting I believe. [[which I've been doing far too much of]] My eyes are rolling back into my head at random times and my muscles switch while my hands and arms and legs shake...it doesn't seem too good.
Well I'm done lamenting for tonight I'll just have to wait until my love gets online so I can feel better and such... heart


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xoxo
Lily Von Trapp





 
 
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