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NOTE: Again I did not write this story. A friend sent it to me.

You don't have to own a cat to appreciate this one!

We were dressed and ready to go out for the New Years Eve Party. We turnedon a night light, turned the answering machine on, covered our petparakeet and put the cat in the backyard.

We phoned the local cab companyand requested a taxi. The taxi arrived and we opened the front door toleave the house. The cat we put out in the yard, scoots back into thehouse. We didn't want the cat shut in the house because she always tries to eatthe bird.

My wife goes out to the taxi, while I went inside to get thecat. The cat runs upstairs, with me in hot pursuit. Waiting in the cab, mywife doesn't want the driver to know that the house will be empty for thenight. So, she explains to the taxi driver that I will be out soon, "He'sjust going upstairs to say goodbye to my mother."

A few minutes later, I get into the cab. "Sorry I took so long," I said,as we drove away. "That stupid b***h was hiding under the bed. Had to pokeher with a coat hanger to get her to come out! She tried to take off, so Igrabbed her by the neck. Then, I had to wrap her in a blanket to keep herfrom scratching me. But it worked! I hauled her fat a** downstairs andthrew her out into the back yard!"

The cab driver hit a parked car..