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random crap
Okay, so. Today me and Brandon went to Mimi's caffee.....I had a salad.......not that I need to diet or anything.....Anyway! He was being perverted again!!!! stressed I know what color my bra is! you don't need to point it out!!! Sheesh! Oh...also....he came looking like farmer john....this was my expressions O.O redface sweatdrop yeah......well he un-tucked his shirt...yay.....and then he stole my moms cash >.> oh well.....the coffee was yummy! I drink mine w/o sugar...he drinks it with tons of sugar and cream. I'm just going on and on and on because i'm bored....who reads this anymore???? It's been like......a year? a year one month? Iunno......I forgot to celebrate my one gaian year anniversary.....oh well....i'll live. Oh brandon guess what?!?!?!?! I made you something!!!! but you're not gonna see it till monday >=D BWAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! And its not very big.....or shiney.....or special.....hmmmm...............oh well...........its your award for 15 brownie points...woot! Remember! Get too a hundred!!! Oh...and they can also be deducted...like if you say something hurtful, it'll probably go down 5. And if you do something so majorly bad....i'll just take them all away. this is like cheating, standing me up, etc. That bad stuff........hey we should lay under the stars again!!! But we should bring a blanky so we can snuggle in warmth. not that cuddling up next to you isn't good enough.............errrrr.........I've set a new goal for myself!! It's to do 30 ab crunches a day! Then I can look good in swim suits without looking like a...........blob? No.....plain? Yes! Plain! My other goal was to drink more milk...that was to make me boobs bigger....cause milk has hormones in it......then I learned that the milk my mom buys is made without hormones....so that stopped.....I don't even know why I wrote that.........oh well.......brandon will probably is gonna use that against me.......My boobs are still small....ish.... lalalalalalalalaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa.......OH!!!!!! I saw beuwulf (sp?) it was...GORY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Soooo...much....animated....blood.....I mean the monster took a girls head and SQUISHED IT!!!!!!! Then he ripped a man in HALF!!!!!!!!! NIGHTMARES!!!!!!!!!!!! NIGHTMARES!!!!!!!!!!! Okay...i'm better.....there were some.....good parts? Like when he took off all his clothes...I didn't get to see anything but his animated butt... oh well.... also the animation was excelent!! I thought the people were real at someparts! I didn't like the ending. But its better then the happily ever after crap.....*sighs*.......so....bored.....I'm making another Sims 2 story...I'll TRY not to use all my cheats and hacks.......but I can't promise anything. Here's a little example of it: This will be about my life, and my life only. I'll never let anyone see it. They'd cry at how i'm treated......a slave........thats all I am.......a slave...... Kept inside four walls...except for school and school related things, forced to do my step-fathers biddings without any graditude. Forced to not talk to my boyfriend, forced to lie to go somewhere, forced to hide away in my room when the arguments start, forced......to do whatever HE wants me to do. My only savor is Christ and sometimes things go according to plan, sometimes they don't. I don't mind though. My mom is divorcing him....I think....I hope.... she might stay. But i'm not staying for christmas. My christmas's turn out bad, everysince my mom met HIM. When I was 7,8,9 my mom told me, "santa can't bring you lots of presents this year because he has other poorer children to take care of." She asked me to help the poor, homeless children by letting santa give them my presents....I agreed....as I got older I learned there was no santa. Every christmas since has been horrible, every holiday since has been horrible. I hate holidays now. At thanksgiving my step-father complains about the cooking......another argument.....christmas, he complains that he didn't get any GOOD gifts....another argument.......Valentines day he complains she didn't give him anything....its her birthday, why should she? Easter, no complaints. fourth of july, no complaints. I think those are the only two holidays where they actually dont fight. I hate vacations too. especially if I have to be in a car with them....they fight on the way there. I often find myself sticking my head out the window, so the only thing I hear is the wind. i often tried running away or commiting suicide....but i'm not stupid. I know better then that. So this is just a reminder to myself. On how my days go. So many things happen in one day. I often forget. So here's were I can remember. here's the place were I can remember how my day went. And when I look back on it...here's were I can remember my screwed up life. This is my journel, uncut, unrated. This.....this is my life -end- nifty huh? And its all 100% real!...err..... 99.9.......okay fine! 99.8! Also I dug a letter up the other day.....it made me cry. So i'm putting it up here. It was written when I was seven so the grammer is for a little kid....my step-dad wrote it for me.....I miss the old him...the nice him..... here's the letter:
Dear Samantha,
I am so proud of you, I have told everybody about you at work, and that you get very good grades, they all are jealous because none of their kids get good grades. So that make me proud.
I can always count on you to be the one who greets me at the door with a big smile and a huggy, when I came home yhe other day and you opened up your arms and ran across all the junk laying around just to get to me first. I felt truly loved by you and that I am truly your daddy in your eyes. And that makes me feel really good. I have never been a daddy before so this makes you and william and allyson, like my real one and only kids, not like as if I have step kids or anything like that, but the real thing.
I have known you with every picture you draw me, they get better and better. I have noticed the many subtle nuances in people you draw and I think it has a very pleasant and graceful style to it. You will go far with this one day. And I think this is one of your many strengths. I never hoped to have such a great set of kids. But know that I have you and everybody, I never know how I could have ever been happy without you. I love to see how happy you are when I tuck you in, it gives me the re-assurance I needed, that I am a big part of your life. And if you grow up and become a star or a singer or something in between, I hope that you will come and visit me and mommy once in a while and tell us all about your exciting life. And when we get older, you can bring your kids over and they can wrestle and poke me just like-
Thats the end of the letter, the other page was lost....but i'm sure if I read it, it would make me cry even more. To have loved him so much when I was little and now I hate and lie to him so much...its unbelievable. Where has this man gone? Where can I find him? I......I miss him.......I really do miss him.... if your still reading this.....you must be pretty bored.....but i'm gonns stop writing....and read over this poem again. I need a good cry....so goodnight
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