This is basically, me being extremely bored. When I'm bored..I tend to write.
I took a few characters I knwo about and stuck them in a story.
No offence is meant to the creators, or owners of said characters, and this is all in good fun..so don't bother with flaming me. ^_^
Summed up: A crazy, humorous, and slightly indecent GAIA fic where our kids all know each other. It takes place while our charas are in high school, featuring a drunk, jittery teenage Vahn (who may or may not be a virgin), emo Latent, karaoke, Vahn's ambitions for an amusement park, and lots and lots of snogs and terribly abrupt transitions. Dangerous curves ahead. smile A high NC-17 for language, violence, sexual content, and alcohol abuse.
DISCLAIMER: Go-Gaia and all related characters and indicia and whatnot are � Go-Gaia, and by no means do I claim ownership over Go-Gaia or anyones avatars, characters, panties, dildos, etc, or its related characters or indicia, and by no means am I affiliated with Go-Gaia in anyway, though I'd like to be.
AUTHOR'S NOTE: for this fiction it's a pretty much anything-goes deal. Latent is emo, Hawk is their somewhat jealous best friend, and there may or may not be some crossover characters borrowed from various stories/games/movies. This also features my own original characters as well. This means that, aside from the basic info, I'm pretty much restylizing the characters. All our plot hotties are around the age of 16-17, making them�juniors in high school? Yep, that'd be it. They're a lusty lot, so expect the rating to fluctuate from PG-13 to a slight R, for indecency and language. Sorry V/L kids, there will be no twincest (runs away as arrows come flying out of the air), and just to keep you happy, Vahn sings in a shockingly sexy tenor voice. 'Cause tenors kick a**. Vahn is incredibly sexy and should be a tenor. < 3
I'd have to say about 85% of this story has been fabricated from my head, the other fifteen percent subconsciously influenced by my friends and various sources. References will be cited at the end of each chapter. In case you were wondering, because our heroes are at a tender age, powers, or fighting is, at this point, nonexistent. Vahn will not be pulling a Efreet and burning bullies in high school. He has yet to do many, many things before answering the call of duty.
MOVING ON: And so as not to bore you anymore, here's a quick descrippy of the scene: Vahn and Latent's house on their seventeenth birthday, not so much a house as the dark, nicely creepy ornate house I live in, a residence with foreboding and rather indecent things lying in wait. For the hell of it, we'll say that the parents are vacationing in Maui or something. It's located in a town that, for the sake of it having a name, is called Haskell, although it would probably be better to remove the ASK. It's early in the evening, and there is a party. Biiiiiiiiiiiiiig party. Well, not yet, but there very soon will be. We'll see how it goes from here.
REFERENCES
The title of the chapter is from the very first Invader Zim episode. Invader Zim kicks a**. -draws hearts around Gir's name-
"Remind me to get you a stuffed animal." � Taken from a random Buffy/Kendra dialogue.
The part about Tellus smiling and "his teeth flashing like porcelain bullets," is, I think, something out of one of Francesca Lia Block's works. Bless that woman.
I wrote the blow-up doll part when I remembered what our principal told us not to bring with us on tour in Washington.
And Pussymania was a name taken from randomly in my mind. I'm not even sure if that's an actual magazine, I wouldn't know, and frankly, I wouldn't want to. OO So, I digress.
CHAPTER ONE: THE NIGHTMARE BEGINS
"I can compromise with a blow-up doll."
"Hawk, you are NOT WEARING THAT," Vahn yelled upon the fox girl's entrance into Vahn's room.
Hawk stood there, pouting, looking unsettlingly like a dominatrix in very tight, very scant bits of black leather held together by bits of metal and studs. In her hand she held what looked like�was that a whip?!
"You're not my mother," the fox girl replied, looking mutinous.
Vahn tsk'ed and rolled his eyes. "And I'm not letting you wear HOOKER CLOTHES just because you act like mine." He closed his eyes for a moment, considering this, and consequently going to a very bad mental place. "Especially because you act like mine."
"Right, right, I get it," she muttered, turning and preparing to flounce out like a child that had been denied candy. "You know, Latent would�"
"I don't want to know," said Vahn hastily. "Really. I don't want to know. Just�get some clothes on, for the love of God�well, not really, but�oh, screw it, Hawk, just get some ******** clothes on, I don't care of you lose them later on, that's your business, but you are not running around with belts serving as your top and�er�pants, not a long as I am conscious in the room!" He paused to consider this at length, and added, "AND YOU BETTER NOT WHILE I'M UNCONSCIOUS IN THE ROOM EITHER!" He nudged her toward the door, guiding her by the shoulders. He took very great care not to let any part of him touch her below the shoulders.
Hawk looked more mutinous than ever as she stepped out the door. But she was nonetheless amused at Vahn's attitude toward this. "Jeez, devil boy, I'm going, don't get your panties in a bunch," she said, her eyes twinkling. Measuring his uncommon reaction, a strange question crossed her mind.
"Vahn?"
He turned around, his hair falling into his face as his head snapped in her direction, one eyebrow raised in curiosity. His nose was adorably wrinkled, and his emerald eyes blazed with questioning.
"What?"
She paused, cocking her head to the side, and couldn't help but smirk. "Are you�are you a virgin?"
Vahn looked startled for a moment, before yelling, "OUT, HAWK!" With a sort of victorious-but not-quite finality, he closed the door.
"Well, that tells me nothing," said Hawk, as she stood staring at the ornate mahogany door, feeling quite defeated, and if somewhat unsatisfied.
------------
A half an hour later she emerged from her reserved guest room wearing a skin tight black halter top and a ruffly black miniskirt that barely brushed the tops of her thighs. Her long blond hair was down, tapering loosely over her slim body.
Vahn was outside the door, leaning on the banister and waiting for her. So was Latent. Vahn's dark black hair framed his lightly tanned face, though even with his hair in his eyes he couldn't mask the intensely cold hard greeness of them. He was in a black shirt made out of what looked like very expensive material, and his pants were black leather, his hands shoved in the pockets, giving him an air of casual, offhand elegance. Latent looked so much like Vahn, so much that you couldn't tell the two apart, except for Latent's birghtly blue hair, and save for the faint, jagged scar on Vahn's cheek. No one would know how he got the scar but Vahn himself�whoever (or whatever) inflicted that scar couldn't possibly be alive to brag about it, knowing Vahn. He didn't let anyone mess with him.
Oh, and because Latent wore emo glasses. Hawk wondered vaguely if it was because she had often said she liked emo guys. Since then, Latent had been blasting Taking Back Sunday and The All-American Rejects on his CD player, brooding and staring mistily through his glasses while looking impressively good in his baggy pants and Dashboard Confessional shirt.
But today Latent wore a shirt that looked like the white version of his twin's, and the same black leather pants.
"Much better," she thought she heard Vahn mutter under this breath.
Latent did not appear to have noticed. "Nice clothes, Hawk," he said, eyeing her up and down unabashedly.
"A big improvement," Vahn agreed. "At least now she HAS clothes."
"That's so cute of you, thank you, Vahn," Hawk replied, rolling her eyes. "Remind me to get you a stuffed animal."
"Aww. A stuffed animal for our birthday, just what he wanted," said Latent sarcastically. "We just turned seventeen. I think a subscription to Maxim or Penthouse would be much more fitting."
"I can compromise with a blow-up doll."
Vahn, looking either greatly pleased or greatly disturbed, opened his mouth to reply, but was cut short by the doorbell. It echoed ominously through the house.
"You guys better get it," said Hawk lazily, as they all descended down the grand staircase, a feature like something on the Titanic. "You are the birthday boys, after all."
"Hardly boys anymore," Latent reminded her. He and Vahn went ahead of Hawk, leaping from the thirteenth step simultaneously, both falling through the air with perfect synchronization and landing on one knee, looking like ninjas ready to pounce. The Elemental twins, Hawk thought, half in annoyance and half in admiration. Always making a show of things.
The double doors to the manor had small windows with bars instead of glass, making it seem very disturbingly like a prison, or a dungeon. Each twin took a door by the brass ring and proceeded to pull the doors open with what appeared to be no effort, though the doors were, even for them, very hard to open.
A girl with black hair and a very short black skirt stood in the doorway, along with two boys�one very tall, with apple-red hair, the other a brown-eyed boy with ink black hair.
"Tellus," said Latent, smiling widely. The girl from his chem class. The one who fenced and wore those deliciously tight white knickers that got bunched up around her thighs and other interesting places when she lunged. "I didn't think you'd come."
Tellus returned his smile, laughing. "I wouldn't have missed it," she told him, looking at both Latent and Vahn. "I wouldn't have missed it for anything." She looked at Latent, who had not exactly been looking her in the eye (she wore a low-cut black top), tilted his head and kissed him, a kiss that, as Hawk noted, went on a bit too long and used a bit too much tongue to be considered friendly. She pulled back, licking his lips and smiling, before taking a step toward Vahn and doing the same thing, only she put her hands somewhere that made Dante's eyes grow the size of dinner plates.
Hawk sneezed in a way that Latent believed couldn't have been coincidental in the slightest.
Tellus took her time with Vahn, though, and when she had finished, her gaze traveled lazily to Hawk.
"Oh. Hi. I know you from school�Hawk?"
Hawk looked oddly reserved. "Something like that," she managed in a strangled voice. "Be right back. I have to go get some chips." She exited, muttering something under her breath. Latent was close enough to hear "wankers," "slutbag," and "get to third."
Tellus continued, motioning to the boys who stood on either side of her. "This is Tersiel�" The one with the dark hair waved. "�and Wisto." The red haired boy smiled, his teeth flashing like porcelain bullets.
Latent and Vahn greeted them in turn, welcoming them inside. Pretty soon more people were pouring in, some of them friends, others complete strangers, but rather good-looking strangers, so the twins didn't really mind, although Hawk's lips seemed to purse into even thinner lines as more scantily-dressed girls walked through the door.
"Dunno why she minds so much," Vahn said to Latent as they nodded at a random crowd in welcome. "You should have seen what she was wearing earlier."
A funny look crossed Latent's face. "Oh, I did."
"It was a lot worse than what most of these girls are wearing."
"Yeah, but it was really easy to take off."
"FEHH," said Vahn, looking startled. "I did NOT need to know that." He hesitated. "You�you and Hawk�"
Latent rolled his eyes. "What do you think? And she sleeps over all the time."
Vahn looked more unsettled. "She does?"
"Mhmmmm."
"How come I never see her, then?"
"We spend a lot of time in my room, er, going over our calculus homework."
"Lat, you failed geometry twice. You don't even take calculus."
Latent looked rather pink in the face and tried to casually sidle away.
Vahn said, "argh," or something like it, before walking off. This had been something of a revelation. A disturbing one, at that.
And Hawk's question earlier�where had that come from?
An idea suddenly formulating in his head, he grabbed for a beer bottle, and started to search for Tellus.
------------
I'm not jealous I'm not jealous I'm not jealous.
Hawk found that she had to continually mutter that to herself ever since that girl kissed Latent and Vahn. She strode into the kitchens, looking for a bag of chips, which she probably wouldn't find. Oh, maybe spicy chips. Latent seemed to like spicy chips okay.
Slore.
"What's a slore?" Latent had asked her, their freshman year, when she used it to describe their Latin teacher as they sat through a particularly boring class. Their teacher had somehow gotten to the subject of lemurs and didn't appear to be ending that topic of conversation soon.
"A slut whore," Hawk had replied, then when Latent asked why she pointed out that Ms. McGinnis had gotten a feel of his a**. Oddly, Latent didn't seem to mind very much, at least not about the part where his bum had gotten grabbed.
Nedy, who had been sitting next to them, her hair wavy and perfect and shining like rubies, was quick to mention that Mrs. McGinnis had gotten a feel of her a**, too.
It's not surprising, Hawk thought, returning back to the present and retrieving a bag. Yes, there were spicy chips, and when Hawk removed the bag from the cabinet, she found a stash of dirty magazines.
Sure, she was a blonde, and created with numinous features, but Nedy, Nedy had been perfect. All that red hair and flawless skin and her lithe, slender form and her a**, not that she had been looking.
Nedy would be here tonight. Raven would be here, with her foreign accent, her nice, sharp weapons, her leather boots, and probably not much else.
Without realizing it, Hawk squeezed the bag of chips. It promptly exploded in her hands.
Vahn chose at that minute to walk in, a bottle of Jack Daniels in his left hand, catching Hawk off guard. So he was a lefty. He looked, with some degree of shock, from the food on the floor, to the bag in Hawk's hands, to Hawk's strangled expression, to the pile of Pussymania magazines that were toppling onto the counter from the cabinet.
He closed his dropped jaw, and he was able to say, "Because those definitely aren't mine, you know."
Hawk just grumbled in disgust before heading out the door.
"Oh, shut up, Vahn. Just shut up."
She walked into the corridors, ignoring the portraits, whose inhabitants' eyes were glowing a faint orangey-red. She had learned long ago to appreciate the vaguely creepy elegance of the manor, the cold ornate furnishings and forbidding, dark drapery. But it didn't strike her now, even with its history of containing the Elemental's predecessors, who often resided here in human form, doing dastardly raunchy things. Apparently, their 'father' was one of the few more benevolent elementals in the line, as illustrated by a tapestry of the twin's great uncle Julius decapitating a peasant woman who had apparently stolen one of his prized demon chickens.
The doorbell rang. Hawk sighed. Maybe it was Nedy, if she wasn't already here. Maybe it would be a horde of really hot guys.
She ran for the door, pushing through the growing crowd. With some difficulty, she was able to open one door, crack it open, and peer outside.
What. The. HELL.
That thought, among many, popped into her head, as she stared dropped-jaw at a girl with blonde hair and pale blue eyes who looked no older than eighteen (barely legal, Hawk thought irritably), dressed in something that resembled a white velvet leotard, with a bit more frontal support. She had a pretty face, the face of a porn star. The girl sported bunny ears, a black bow tie, and held a carrot that looked suspiciously like it was made of plastic and was used for purposes not nearly related to eating. Hawk would have bet Latent's entire porn collection that this girl was wearing a fluffy tail, too.
And Latent had a pretty damn big porn collection.
She must have been staring a long time, her blazing eyes that were unnervingly like the twins' boring into the girl's paler ones, because the girl coughed uncomfortably and said, "Um, h-hi�I'm here for the Fire and Water guy?"
Hawk stared.
"Latent hired me�um, my name is Raven...This is the house right? Because I'm pretty sure�"
But Hawk was not paying attention at all. She was suddenly struck with an idea. Oh, it was a bad idea, one that would probably get her into a lot of trouble. But it was sadistically appealing. Oh, yes. She would jump at this chance. No way would she pass this one up.
The girl at the doorstep looked slightly scared. "Um, hello�?"
Suddenly looking up and smiling, Hawk slid out the door and violently tackled the girl to the ground. Her victim let out a horrified squeak before her head hit the pavement and she went unconscious.
Now sitting squarely on Bunny Girl's hips, Hawk smiled, reaching for the bunny ears still securely nestled in the unconscious girl's locks, and viciously pulled them out. She eyed them thoughtfully for a minute, and then with sudden fervor she slipped them on, a fluffy-eared crown on her own shining blonde hair.
"This," said Hawk to herself with a grin, "is going to be one hell of a night."
~~To Be Continued~~
