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Mood: Awful Awful AWFUL!!!
Song I'm Listening to: Bleeding Love

Grawr. I'm so mad at myself right now. I've done some stupid things...but....I'm so upset. Help me...somebody please! cry cry cry cry cry
I miss my life...which I lost. Too bad really. I'm just not happy...or in a good mood at the moment. I just hope I can get over it.
Still mad at my friend...god if she only knew how much she's ripped my heart apart.
I'm so tired of crying for her though--it's scary.

I felt so alone...so distant. I've never felt like that before in my life. It's an awful feeling. A feeling I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Well...no-actually I wouldn't. It's a scary feeling. Not a good scary either. I've been crying all day. Not an overstatement. God if she only knew how scared and alone I feel without her.

I feel awful when she does that stuff to me. I don't even think she knows. It's killing me a slow and painful death to the heart. I've never felt like this. I hate it so much. My eyes are red and swollen, and I can't focus on anything. Nothing. Not school, and that's a bad thing when you have to give an oral report. My voice wavered, broke, and cracked throughout the whole thing. I wonder if anybody noticed my distant expression, sad eyes, or red eyes. Probably not.

They're all slow.

I couldn't concentrate on Band either. My instrument trembled along with my arms. It sounded pretty bad. I don't think anybody noticed then either. I'm depressed.

I never thought I'd say this...but I need a hug.