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you know... some people have so much time on there hands that they write the dumbest jokes in the world... here are my favorites

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There was a chicken farmer who lived in a village in China. One year, his chickens were afflicted with a strange blight that caused them to lose their feathers. The farmer was deeply concerned about this, because winter was coming, and, if the chickens had no feathers, they would freeze to death.

So, the farmer decided to consult the two wisest men in the land. First, he visited Mr. Hing, the renowned scholar. Mr. Hing leafed through all his agricultural and medicinal texts and pored over books and scrolls well into the night. Finally, he returned to the farmer and told him that, if he crushed the leaves of a gum tree into powder, made it into tea, and fed it to his chickens, they would be cured.

The farmer then went to Mr. Ming, the great seer. Mr. Ming cast stones, read tea leaves, and poked through entrails until finally he came up with the answer: "As surely as gum causes a shoe to stick to the ground, tea made from gum leaves will cause feathers to stick to chickens."

Now the farmer was ecstatic. The two wisest men in the land had given him exactly the same prescription. So, as soon as he returned home, he took some gum leaves and made tea from them. He mixed this with the chicken feed and fed it to his chickens. But it didn't work. The chickens continued to lose their feathers, and, with the onset of winter, they all froze.

The moral of this story: "All of Hing's courses and all of Ming's ken couldn't get gum tea to feather a hen."

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How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?
Step one: Open the door.
Step two: Put the elephant in.
Step three: Close the door.

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What's E.T. short for?
So he can fit in his space ship.

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What is a 'forum'?
Two-um plus two-um.

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Ask me if I have a banana in my ear.
Do you have a banana in your ear?
I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.

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This guy comes blasting into the doctor's office and exclaims, excitedly, "Doctor, I think I'm shrinking! I think I'm shrinking!"

"Ok, just settle down sir," the doctor says. "You're just going to have to be a little patient."

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Some adventurers are traveling through the jungle. They come upon a tribe of natives who take them captive. The leader of the tribe tells the men they will let them choose how they are to die. The first guy asks for a sword with which to run himself through. They give him one, and he starts to attack the tribe, but they overtake him and kill him, then use his skin for a canoe. The second one asks for a gun with which to shoot himself. They give him one, and he starts shooting at the tribe, but they overtake him, kill him, and use his skin for a canoe. The third asks for a fork, and the tribe figures, hey, how much damage can he do with a fork? So they give him one. Furiously, he starts poking himself with it. "To heck with your canoes!" he exclaims.



thank you rinkworks for poisoning many people's senses of humor blaugh