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Alright, so let's set the s**t aside and pretend that we're all friends.
Right, nevermind.
Anyways, so I'm not taking any semesters off until I'm done with college.
In January I will be joiing the police academy, I'm most likely going to be sponsored by either Casselberry or Longwood departments to go through so I have a job for two years after I get out.
Imagine the glory of it: me with a gun.
Actually, I'm a decent shot, and not a lunatic.
My girlfriend is an amazing artist, and I collect her work like it's crack.
She's nice, and not batshit crazy like the last one (well she was at times, all and all she was okay though), and here's to hoping I don't ******** it up!
I told her about my venture in outer-relationship relations (i.e. I lost my virginity to a woman who was not my girlfriend while on the tail end of my last relationship), and admittedly I was expecting anger of a sort, or something; she just shrugged and told me that if I did that to her we'd be over. I really don't intend to.
See, I wasn't happy last time, but I'm happy with her.
Let's change subject shall we?
This is bullshit.
I threw away every art piece I have ever made.
I gave the rest away to my friend Dayne.
I haven't dedicated anytime to anything serious in a very long time, drawing wise.
I kind of got into painting, a little.
This is what I call my "******** List".
********:
Nate: (you p***k, you start dating my ex and you decide that I'm not good enough anymore; have the ******** balls to tell me to piss off to my face)
Jared: (at one time I would sit and listen to you talk for hours, but you decided that a sword fighting game should come between friends, so ******** you Jared, but I say that in the nicest way that I can)
Red: (you're a special case, and I only put you here because while you're really cool at times, nobody likes being blown off; don't feed me the line "I'm busy all the time", you actually get downgraded to a simple "Sod off" just because I don't dislike you; I'm just irritated with you)
AC: (you're a ******** psychopath, and I still think those deaths threats came from you)
April: (once again, just a "Sod off" here, as you've been avoiding me siince New Years, and I wish you would at least tell me to piss off to my face)
Suppi: (you don't actually belong on either "Sod off" or "******** off", yours is a simple "You drive by my place everytime you go to Spazz's, the least you could do is hang out a little with me" wink
Anya: (you're insane)
Mary: (Nothing I could say could describe my dissapointment in you. I hope you pull your mess you call a life together, or you're going to die alone, and unloved. Take another ******** swipe at me, I thought you were more mature than that. I was wrong, I guess maybe all you are is just a kid in a grownup body; just like you used to say. I feel nothing for you, no anger, no love, no nostalgia, nothing. In the abscence of feeling is sadness, and it makes me sad that you're such a ******** up. ******** off, Mary, and make sure your two nephews are doing okay, because they deserve a lot better than your sister (provided she hasn't shaped up). Seriously, I liked your nephews)
So that was my first "******** off" list.
I'll probably have more later.
I addressed people of my past for a good reason, I haven't recieved any form of closure (save for Mary) from any of these people. I tell myself I don't care, but every now and then it chews at the back of my brain, like a parasite.
I delete their numbers, but I still sometimes dream that I talk to them and get the closure I crave.
So look guys, tell me I got the message wrong, or tell me to F.O.A.D.
Stop doing this s**t, it's childish, and one of you ******** is 27.
Shame on you, seriously.
To the people who didn't recieve "******** off", sorry, I was just venting.
 Xahmen · Mon Jun 30, 2008 @ 09:54pm · 1 Comments |
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