Mood: I got a heache now.
Mood for the past 2 weeks: Depressed like hell, with maybe like....one day exception. -.-
Currently Listening To: "Dirty Little Secret" - All-American Rejects
Mood for the past 2 weeks: Depressed like hell, with maybe like....one day exception. -.-
Currently Listening To: "Dirty Little Secret" - All-American Rejects
Ush....I'm just ready for it to all end. You think that after so much s**t to go through, things would get better for a while. Everybody says it'll be ok, you'll be alright, things will get better soon. When is soon? When will it all be ok...it's kinda like the lyrics to this Avril Lavigne song. That whats cool about music, there's always a song to relate to. -w-
And I wanna believe you,
When you tell me that it'll be ok,
Yeah, I try to believe you,
But I don't
When you say that it's gonna be,
It always turns out to be a different way,
I try to believe you,
Not today, today, today, today, today...
I don't know how to feel,
tomorrow, tomorrow,
I don't know what to say,
tomorrow, tomorrow
Is a different day.
You know, I don't know what tomorrow's gonna be, but I starting to lost faith that it'll get better. It's like, it's a big chain of things that go wrong, and I lose my patience little by little...so now even the littlest of things are making me mad and cry. Like the computer not working right. I get really upset and cry in my room. I didn't understand math homework, and I started crying, and I didn't do it. Just a little offending remark that I KNOW is a joke, I get really offended and cry about it. I normally don't do these things, but I've just been so worked up about everthing, the unimportant things get to me.
You can tell at home how I've changed. I act normal at school and all, but at home, you can really tell how worn out I am. When I DO get the hance to get on the computer, I don't want to get on. I'm so careless now. I don't care about anything. My mom tells me this, I don't care. Dad tells me that, I don't care. My brother stinks because he didn't take a shower yet, I just put my head under the blankets and don't care. I go to sleep at around 7:30. I'm so tired alll the time, except for P.E. ...I guess that's where I just take it all out on everything. Coach K and Coach Hidalgo say I'm working really hard in P.E.
And the worst part is, I can't talk to my family about it...I just don't think they'll understand. My mom always asks me if I'm okay or not, and I usually just say yeah. My dad...he really doesn't seem to notice, and my brother likes to take it as an "i'll annoy her to make her cry" moment, which pisses me off. You know, I never cry in front of anyone, so I guess it doesn't look like I actually feel as bad as I do.
And to all of my friends here who help me all the time (and you guys and gals know who you are.)....I want to say thank you. You guys have really helped me, even if it doesn't seem so. I really don't know how I'd be if you all wouldn't talk to me and helping me out. I only wish you guys were actually here. I mean, you all DO help, but words can only do so much, especially if you all live so far away. So even if I am down a lot still, know that you are all helping, and I love you guys sooooo much for it. I don't know if I could make it without you guys. n.~
-Iia-
Community Member
:B Okey...Where to start?
Most people have problems like these...In some way shape or form, they easily get discouraged. It sucks...And I think it's called angst. Teens go through it...My mom said I had that...or something like that. All you can really do is just put up with it, or somehow make yourself happy...Maybe find something else to do. Not so sure.
As for the crying issue...I do the same thing. I've probably even done it all my life, because I'm very sensitive...Little things can affect me in a big way...Long time ago, I cried because I might not have gotten on the computer anymore. I felt bad when I had offended someone without knowing it. I cried in class just because my teacher didn't like my disorganisation...So yeah. Some people are ultra sensitive, and that's ok...People may think that you're a wimp because of it, but you have a right to feel what you have to... ._. heart
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