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Ok, well I suppose it would be time for another journal entry. I wouldn't be surprised if nobody reads it considering I haven't used it for an age.
Well, I suppose I'm just sitting here doing nothing again tonight. No work, no commissions. I should be doing both. *shrugs*
All I come online to do anymore is talk to my Panda who ends up being over a day's trip away from me >.< and 14hours behind me in terms of the time zone.
Since everything ended for me those few months ago (haven't really been counting) I've re-evaluated life and re-adjusted considering the lesson's I've learned and the mistakes I've made.
I am no longer concerned who I talk to and what happens with them. (exceptions = Travis, Claudia and Emily) If someone doesn't want to talk to me then to hell with them, why should I feel bad about myself? It's their problem and they're after their own things which are of no concern to me. Same goes mainly for Aron, I'm surprised with myself that I haven't tried to talk to him more. To be honest, I really don't care anymore. If he wants to kill himself with his new life; let him do so. The disappointment is incredible at the moment, but when you throw that away, all that's left is nothing.
Chantelle asked me how my relationship with Aron was going the other day and she seemed more upset over the relationship ending than i had been on the second day o.o
I'm good with making new friends now ^-^ they're not selfish idiots who have no concern or empathy for anyone else. Its easy to say you care and you'd do anything; but when it truly comes down to it, most of those promises are false and hollow. It's kind of sad, really.
I can honestly say that when I say that I'll do anything to fix or protect or to have someone or something, I mean it. With every fibre of my being.
I despise hollow and broken promises...I loathe them to the point of tears with frustration. I've lived off both of these things for the entirety of my life and I think I'm just about ready to rid myself of their bearers. *poof* there they go. ^-^
And therefore, this is the turning point of my life. There are only three people who are worthy of my time, those being the people I mentioned previously. You know, Travis, Clauds and Emi. ^-^ Regardless of the fact that I haven't seen Clauds in years and that we don't talk, we'll always remain best friends. And with Emi, considering I see her just about every day and night, I can say with utmost surety that she is my best friend too. Now, it comes to Travis. I've known him for little over a month and I already feel closer to him than I felt to most people in a matter of years. So basically, to be utterly honest, I really like Travis, my Panda, and nothing would make me happier than for him to arrive at my doorstep in all his awesomeness and just give me a really big cuddle. heart
Anyhow, now that everything's out there (kinda), I expect this isn't the most exciting journal entry ever made. However, I felt the need to say it.
^-^
Keep happy
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 Undeserving · Mon Aug 11, 2008 @ 12:50pm · 4 Comments |
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