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Most of my school friends know how i dream alot about being kidnaped and odly how i enjoy it.
i havnt really been sure to why i enjoy it, and when i say enjoy it i mean ALOT!

in my kidnapping dreams ive been grabed, pushed,tied up. needles thrown at me, sleeping pills everything. when i try to escape from the people who kidnap me* they always manage to get me again, and i always feel relieved that they did. ha the other night i was kidnaped at a clothes store and i was teleported to a house XD.

ive been researching about what these dreams could be about, and this is basically what i have
kidnapping: you feel like your life is being controlled and you have no choice in what you do or you feel as if there will be great consinquences.
running away: you want to get away from something bad in life, or you are failing at something.

they say nothing about being happy that i was kidnapped and hurt. today i realised why i enjoy it so much.

because im wanted.

im not poor nor rich, my life is good, my prents take care of me. its just i never really feel like im wanted here. i dont get much attention its always my older brother, he's ither sick, leaving school to join a computr course, getting a job or going over seas. oh hes only turning 17 in december.
my parents worry about him and his future, and occasionaly worry about me leaving me to feel left out.
the best times for me is watching the stars with my dad at night when he is slightly drunk on a friday or going shopping at the mall with my mum.
they wonder why i spend so much time on the internet, when its because i can have attention from my friends. and i feel wanted.

no i am not emo, just a 14 year old speaking from her heart.

oh krystal or jess or anyone els i really know, dont make fun of me for this or ill make fun of stuff about you. twisted
thanks for reading



*a range of people from children to my mum, no my parents arnt seperated but they were