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10.14.05
Nobody Wants To Be Lonely...Nobody Wants To Cry...My Body's Longing To Hold You...So Bad It Hurts Inside...Time Is Precious & It's Slipping Away...& I've Been Waiting For You All Of My Life...Nobody Wants To Be Lonely...So Why...Why...Why Don't You Let Me Love You...

Mood: Ehh...Both happy and sad.

Currently Listening To: "Nobody Wants To Be Lonely" - Ricky Martin ft. Christina Aguilera


Yeah, the title is just the chorus of the song. x3 xP

First the Good News:

~ I'm going to homecoming with my friend, Cody. NOT BOYFRIEND!!! FRIEND!

~ My grades are good.

~ Chesea's Birthday is Sunday.

~ I made the tennis team.

Bad News...this is gonna be lengthy. *sigh*:

There's this group at school, and I NEVER liked them, but again I NEVER did anything to bother them. I never talked to them, touched them, went near them. Yet they are ALWAYS making life more difficult. Why? I mean, I try my very hardest not to let anything anyone says get to me, but I can't help but hurt. I'm not a lesbian. I don't have anything against them, but I am not one, and it does hurt when they call me that. They talk about me when I'm right there, and I can't do a thing about it. You'd think that this would get old and I'd get over it, but I can't. I didn't ******** do anything to them, and they go and make a fool out of me. Nobody believes me, but everyone believes their lies, and It's too much. And they laugh at others, like the mentally challenged ones who don't realize that they're laughing at them and not with them. How can people pull that s**t?! Have they no shame?! I just want it to stop. I never wanted to be "popular", and I still don;t, but to be jusged and treated by almost EVERYBODY...it's just so lonely and it's hard to be myself anymore. I just wish I..or they...could go away for a while. Maybe then I wouldn't feel so selfconcious or insecure.

My mom. I can talk to her about anything...but what if you KNOW she's doing something bad? Icould tell dad, but he'd get really mad and yell at me, mom and my brother. But...she's been...everything she tells me is wrong...she's doing them.
She gave some guy her cell phone number.
She showed a picture of herself to another guy.
She says I can't read her conversations because they're bad, and I know exactly what she's doing.
She stays up until early hours of the morning having those conversations with guys.
I don't want her to get hurt. And now it's like she's just as bad as daddy, and who am I supposed to trust now? I mean, yeah, it's her business, and not mine...but it's disturbing.
The last time I checked, mom and dad were still married.

I just feel alone. No family to trust...few friends there when I need. It's just getting so out of control and so hard.






User Comments: [8] [add]
Kaisuo
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Fri Oct 14, 2005 @ 11:04pm
..Iia.


commentCommented on: Fri Oct 14, 2005 @ 11:07pm
I'm sorry...I don't want to worry anyone.



Iia
Community Member
Kite Tsukra
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sat Oct 15, 2005 @ 01:01am
._. -huggles iia- Tis okay, anytime you need to talk like earlier, i'm always here hun =3 <33


commentCommented on: Sat Oct 15, 2005 @ 02:18am
Life's tough... ._. *Huggles* There's so much to worry about...Strangers, driving, health, money...I worry about it too much.

If you say you're not a lesbian, you're not. Some people are just thick headed and sometimes take things not so seriously. It hurts...Yes. Some things still hurt me. But I try to think about something else. Something happy. That might work.

D: Sharing information like that is bad. But I know that I did that once. But we don't call each other anymore. ^^; You have real life friends to look to...But you know that your parents love you, right? n.n And I'm sorry if I wasn't on so often so lately...But I do hope things will go well for you.

Anyways, congradulations about homecoming, the grades, and tennis. ^_^ And happy early birthday to Chesea, too =o

heart



Yuki the Yume-Guardian
Community Member
Lilteesy
Community Member
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commentCommented on: Sat Oct 15, 2005 @ 03:14am
I feel like it's my fault that they call you a lesbo and laugh at you. At times I feel like one of them who are laughing at you in P.E. They talk about me too. I think I'm not doing my job at P.E to help you when you are sad and sick. That's the only time I get to talk to you anyway and I treat you like dirt. I'm Sorry cry


commentCommented on: Sat Oct 15, 2005 @ 11:40am
Kite: Thanks! ^^

Yuki: Thanks. ^_^
and you're talking about Blade, right? ...what ever happened to him? gonk

Teesy: They would tease me anyway, its not your fault. It's mine too. And don't worry about the treat me like dirt part. o.O Forgiven. 3nodding



Iia
Community Member
Your Little Fickle Pickle
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Sat Oct 15, 2005 @ 12:16pm
Whoa... I had no idea you had to put up with such things...

If I could, I'd find each and every one of those group members' houses and:

1) douse them all in gasoline

2) light them on fire

3) figure out how to tap into your school computer and change their grades and/or personal info. about them. I'm thinking maybe a prison record would be a nice touch to these idiots.

Truly, I'm sorry. If you want to talk, I'm here for you.

Erg... it's hard to think of a friend-like name for a female... buddy seems too guy-ish... eh... >.<'

Oh well, it's all I can think of. *shrugs*

See you around buddy. *huggles teh Iia* <3


commentCommented on: Sat Oct 15, 2005 @ 03:07pm
o_O...Wow...You go, big brother. <3

As for Blade? I think he quit Gaia a long time ago. *Shrugs* It doesn't really matter to me anymore. n_n;



Yuki the Yume-Guardian
Community Member
User Comments: [8] [add]
 
 
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