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Hello everyone.

I guess I should probably be totally honest with you all now. I haven't really been myself with all of you, and probably for the past several months now I've been lying to all of you about what's REALLY going on with me.

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NOTE: If you do not like people who are open and honest about how they feel, and do not care to here me tell you about it in my ranting, even if it's depressing, I caution you not to read any further.
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It's hard to really explain and go into, but for what I'm about to say, I don't think I've ever known anyone who has ever felt what I'm feeling right now, except maybe a select few. It seems as if the bad days are outnumbering the good ones, and I feel so alone, no matter who I'm with or what I'm doing.

I feel like everything I do in school has no effect. Because of the fact that instead of succeeding (which I had been trying to do), I am in fact failing in everything. I don't think that I'll make anything of myself in the real world. Because I now realize that if I can't handle high school and all the trouble that comes with it, I'm not going to be able to survive after I graduate.

Everything is always piling up and I'm still buried in HW and other assignments up to my eyeballs. I barely get any time to spend with my family or my friends. It's terrible! I feel like I'm losing myself in the process. I have to pretend like everything's going to be OK in front of everyone, when all I'm doing is denying the inevitable. I just don't want my downing mood and how I'm feeling to ruin your days is all. That's part of the reason.

I have a lot more that I want to say on this, I think. And I know it totally sounds emo, but I just I had to try and get some of this off of my chest. I know that you are all just trying to be nice, but I REALLY don't want any pity or sympathy. I just REALLY want to explain myself to you, so that you can possibly try and put yourselves in my shoes. Thanks for listening though. It means a lot. Comment if you would like, but you don't have to share if you don't want to.