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Do you ever sit and wonder what your purpose in life is? Or if there isn't any purpose. Your randomly thrown here to do whatever happens. That there is no destiny or life path. I'm here to play on Gaia and watch anime. Is that my purpose? People say we are put on earth to live a just and virtuous life. I feel those are not controlled by destiny or some path. Those are choices. We run are life by our choices and sometimes the choices our parents make for us. My life began that way. My parents made the choice to have a baby. Halfway through the pregnancy the doctors told my mom that I was killing her. I was taking all the food plus burning her fat reserves. They gave her the choice to have me aborted. She chose to take the chance. Six weeks before the time I was to be born by C-section due to my size my mom fell down some stairs and I started coming out. I was born six weeks premature weighing 11 pounds 9 ounces. My mom weighed 69 pounds after birth. The doctors saved her. All that went into my birth brought me to where I am now. What is my purpose? When I was four I was molested by a neighbor boy. When I was six I was molested by three neighbor boys. When I was ten I was molested by one of my uncles. I was so screwed up by the time I was thirteen. I could see any purpose for me to be here. I started drinking everyday. I couldn't understand why I was here. By the the time I was sixteen, I put two of those neighbor boys in the hospital. I had so much anger. I did care what happened to me. I was hospitalized twice for poisoning myself by drinking too much. My self-esteem was gone. All through school I never asked a girl out. I did have two girlfriends during that time, but they were the one's to ask me out. Each one tried to get me to stop drinking so I broke up with them. Drinking stayed in my life. It was my crutch. I married when I was 29. I didn't ask her to marry me. She asked me. I said yes because it seemed like the right answer. I knew I didn't love her. My life changed soon after my 32nd birthday. My wife told me she was pregnant. I quit drinking right then. I didn't want my child to ever see me drunk or even have a drink. When my daughter Caitlin was born, I felt like my life finally had some worth. Some purpose. She was my life. My son Nicky came two years later. I was overjoyed. My marriage with their mother didn't last. Caitlin is 14 and Nicky is 12. Caitlin lives with me full-time and Nicky half the time. On his 13th birthday, he will be living with me full-time. Their mother isn't the nicest of people. Though my health is going I feel they are still my purpose for living. My choice to be a good father. It wasn't destiny. It was my choices. I've made many bad decisions in my life. They were no one's fault but my own. Now I'm hoping I continue to make the right decisions. I remarried nine years ago. I asked her to marry me. It was another good choice. She had two kids, Allison and Doug. I consider them my children. Their dad made the bad choice of disappearing from their life 7 years ago. I have a lot to live for and I feel my life has a purpose. Dad

ps I have made some good choices on friends here on Gaia. You know who you are. I hope I can help some of my Gaia kids feel like they have a purpose in their lives by being a good friend.