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I dreamed...of something. I had planned for things...But slowly, it all just fell through my fingers and shattered on the hard, cold floor. Maybe I should've seen it coming, but back then, would I have even been able to? It feels so strange now, to think that it's all gone.

I dreamed...of something. It was such a strange thing to imagine, but I guess such farfetched dreams are normal for children. They can't help themselves but reach for the stars. It just takes time for them to realise that they simply aren't tall enough for their tiny hands to be able to grasp them. To stretch, to reach, with all their might, and still, it's just not possible.

Was it ever possible for me? Did I even stretched up that high? Did I ever try, or did I just sit down and tilt my head back to watch everyone else as they began to reach for their stars? Did I smile with them as, one by one, they clutched a shining star and walked away with it? For some reason, I get the feeling I did. I didn't think about reaching up for a star myself, and I wasn't planning on ever reaching up there. I was content just to sit back and watch as everyone else did it. That's all I wanted, just to sit and look. I wanted them all to smile so that I could see their joy. My own joy existed, but it was just such a simple joy. I just needed to see them smile, and I'd be able to smile. Of course I didn't think about it back then. I don't even know how much I think about it now.

Do I still smile when everyone else smiles? Do I laugh with them and feel truly warm when they walk away? I can answer that. No. I smile, I feel warm, but they are my light. When they leave, I get cold. I want their star because they seem so warm with it, and I'm left alone and cold. I never think of just reaching up and getting my own. Clearly I'm big enough, but the thought never crosses my mind. Just to stand and reach up, just a little bit. Just put the smallest bit of work into it, and I'd be able to have my own star, my own talent. My own success. No. I don't think of doing that. It never even crosses my mind.

Just let me watch them for a little while. I'll get warm. That's what I keep telling myself. Just let me sit here and stare at all the stars that're available. I'll be fine. Just let me look at them. I don't even dream of having them. I just want to see them shine. That's all I've ever wanted...Just to see them shine...