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Today was half Wednesday, I had planned on a day filled with friends, fun, and the girl who means more to me than life.

instead I walked Rebecca to Gommy's house, and only got to see her for about 5 minutes after school... then I went to starbucks, and saw all of our friends... and I was happy that I got to see them... but horribly depressed because it was me seeing them not "us" I spent the whole time there in like a trance... I wanted my love... my life...

So I saw John there... it was like a dream... real, but not real, like he was just there and I was happy... I was so depressed I didn't think that anything could happen that was beyond the normal half Wednesday happy.

so I came home after a while of being there with them all... and now i'm sitting here... bored and lonely...


P.S. there is more story at the bottom...

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I've had this little voice in the back of my head telling me to write this out, and I know you all get tired of me writing shitty stories, and never finishing them... but I suppose that's how i'm going to write untill I find a good story worth sticking too... so for now i'm going to just vent so to speak...















chapter one: Johnny Wild.


Dumb-s**t doesn't know when to stop I couldn't help but laugh. "Might as well just quit right now." I said calmly with a trace of amusement still in my voice. He threw a quick left jab, then a kick to my legs. So SLOW! The punch felt as though the air around it was saturated with molasses. I felt a little sorry for him so I decided to end it early. I grabbed his leg in a vice and fell to the ground against the bend of his knee. Sweet music. His screams of pain were my personal symphony. I loved it. The blood. The dirt. The pain. The fight. I got up and stared down at him writhing like a stupid worm trying to get on it's non-existent feet. Finally I pulled out a phone and dialed "911" I told the little cream-puff girl on the other side the there was a man badly beaten where I was at, then hung up. I shoved the phone back in my pocket and wiped the dirt of my black leather jacket.
Punk got blood on my blue jeans. I kicked the gun this little 'tard pulled out on me to the trash-cans on the side of the ally. "You're lucky actually... I don't do guns... If that were the case you'd be dead about 4 minutes ago." I walked towards him, and soon enough I was standing over his face still contorted in strange ways trying to put the pain at bay. I picked him up by the neck of his shirt, and brought him to eye level. "My name is Johnny Wild, and boy, I live up to my name." I laughed again and with that I gave him a good punch to remember—haha or maybe he won't remember a damn thing!—to his chops and he went limp and unconscious. his broken leg dangling uselessly below. I dropped him and took the wallet from his back pocket. Thanks so much for your contribution good sir. I took the money and threw the wallet back down on top of his body; the money simply went in my pocket. I pulled out a cigarette and lit it feeling it's warm smoke flood my lungs. Exhaling I laughed a little again. I reached in my back pocket and pulled out a small comb to pull across my hair, Black as pitch or at least that's what everyone told me. I raked my hair to the back of my skull and smoothed it over with my hand. What did this putz say before the gun? "What are you? A freaken fifties' greaser?" I lost the thought soon enough. Another drag and I was walking off into the street again, looking for a place to call home for the night. Still can't believe that idiot pulled a gun on me! Whatever happened to a good old knife? I suppose a fair fist fight might have been too much to hope for uh?






Chapter two:Olivia McCormick
sigh "Today's the day." I told myself, "why aren't you happy?" I looked at myself in the mirror and the only thing that I saw was the very unhappy 14 year old girl who had spent all morning convincing herself that the gray uniform was appropriate attire for her own wedding ceremony. The elders were going to pick a mate for me today. I had waited all my life for this. My parents were wonderful people. Some of the only decent people left in this world. Even after all the books were burned and illiteracy was the norm. They kept a few books, even a dictionary. They taught me how to read, to write, to live apart from the Elders' "perfect" society ... But how could I be sure that my new chosen mate would be my perfect match like my father was for my mother. I was even fairly sure that the Elders simply picked the matches at random. How could 300-year-old geezers pluck out the perfect matches for some 10,000 people? I'm sure by now you saying "10,000 people? Is she crazy there is way more people on the earth!" Well I hate to break it to ya, but not anymore. Now there is only Eisatsu. It is the only place still habitable. Eisatsu was constructed exactly 400 years ago and was used as a shelter for the Xander virus... No it didn't turn everyone into zombies or monsters or anything. It simply killed anyone who was exposed, and nobody could seem to get rid of it. When it was unleashed the year was 2781 A.D. and we had just set up a colony on Aphrodite-3. The alarms blared and my baby brother cried... We ran to the nearest shelter, and hid... It just so happend that there was a scientist there in that same shelter who had been reserching the Xander virus in secret with the government. His name was Dr. Alan Ryver. He had developed a cure to the virus in his tests and studies. Lucky for us he thought something would go wrong in the testing of the virus so he caried around a case with the antidote there was only enough for about 100 of us in that shelter... There were at least 500 people seeking refuge in there with us... he quietly whispered in the ears of the people closest to him and told them that he was going to inject the antidote... Again, it was lucky for me; I was standing litterally right next to him and was the first one to get the shot... the shot... it worked, and gave us impunity to the virus... but it also had an after effect... now it is year 203A.X. 203 years after the spread of the Xander virus... when it hit in that small city in Rhode Island I was 6-years old... now some 204 years later... I look 14... Antidote continually healed our cells to counter act the virus, and when your cells almost never die... you find that your life span is much longer... our haven from the outside world was designed to be perfect... but it does have one fatal flaw, it's size... it can never-ever get any bigger. So when we live as long as we do and have children the space increases... it's come to the point where the Elders have forbidden child birth... they will come and take your child from your arms... and God only know what they do with it after that... I love my family who were assigned to me... I love my friends who I met in our perfect world... but I hate it... I hate it all... I want to break out from this perfect little world... and it just so happens that the Elders were unveiling their newest achievement in a days time... I would be assigned a life partner, and the next day I would be gone, I would fix it all... and I would be happy... no one would have to die...





Chapter three: Alan Ryver

I went over it seven different ways to Sunday in my head. Each one ended badly. Was there even a good way to do this? I sighed and stepped out of class. What?! Where were they? David's gang should be right here waiting for me to come out of Biology just to push me around and eventually take my pack and throw it on the roof. I would stand up for myself, but I was just a little skinny white freshman who wore too much black. Instead of the filthy neaderthals, there was just the normal lunch stampede. Amidst the mush that embodied the planet's future generations I spotted the only person worth being mentioned. Sarah looked like an actual angel walking around the shlup of high-school; her blond hair cascaded beautifuly down her back like a waterfall of molten gold casting a glow around her that made her seem inhuman with beauty.

row

Her eyes connected with mine for all of a split second. Then the gaze that showed me the world was interupted by Hell. David came from nowhere, taking advantage of my momentary bliss. "Hey f**!" he shoved me a little bit. "What's up? Huh?" I looked around for a teacher "What's wrong, huh? Looking for a teach to help you out 'O this one? Huh?" he looked around with an exadurated innocent look. "Well there ain't none huh!" I winced when he slapped the side of my face.

row

The tears would come soon, this is what David wanted, He seemed to get a high off my pain, and emparassment.

row

I had endured years and years of this... I knew how to deal... I stopped caring... stopped feeling... stopped loving... stopped living... stopped being... I was nothing floating in nothing while my body received a beating... too bad for David the tears were false, produced simply from my body as a response to the pain it was receiveing, nothing more then the primitive side of my brain responding to physical contact.

your

I wiped the tears away as David almost bounced with joy and turned from my hunched and beaten figure. I couldn't wait to sleep.

boat

The rest of the day passed without much more problems outside the norm of failing all my tests, enduring jabs and jeers from my "fellow peers"

gently

After school I walked home... joy... I couldn't wait to sleep.

down

Almost right after I set my bag down to take a look at my injuries, my father walked in with his lunch box and car keys in hand. "Hey, who the Hell left the door open?" he called irritated into the house. "Hello? is anyone home?"

the

I almost didn't call back... I almost didn't... "I did, I left the door unlocked, not open."

stream

"Like it makes a f**king difference! How many times do I have to tell you before it actually sinks in?! F**K!" he yelled back... I rolled my eyes.

merrily

He was in a bad mood... That was it for the rest of my night, now everything would go downhill.

merrily

I took a deep breath and readied myself for the comming mental onslaught. I walked out of the bathroom and flicked the light switch on the way.

merrily

My life consisted of my fathers moods... a good mood for him meant an alright day for me... my day would also be good if it wasn't for the damper David placed on me.

merrily

When my dad saw my black eyes and scuffed face, he jumpped into a lecture about how I needed to stand up for myself, and how I was a wimp, and a p**sy, and a worthless, spineless, sack of s**t.

life

Eventually he noticed that I wasn't really paying attention to his lecture on my worth and intellegence. He hit me on the side of my head.

is

...it didn't stop there... he kept hitting... first my head, then my arms... then my legs, my torso... he was taking out his fustrations on me... oh the fustrations of a middle aged construction worker...

but

again... the tears... the complete apathy... I saw it all like a dream... like a movie... this whole day seemed to be speeding towards the end, to the dream... to my life... to his life... to our life... I tried to open my eyes, but it hurt to try to see through the tears...

a

I got up off the floor and tried to clean the blood... my blood... I couldn't wait to sleep... after the blood was clean I clawed my way to my room and opened the door. I fell across my bed and I finally closed my eyes over reality... And woke up a 27 year old chemist named Alan Ryver... the dream that was so real I wasn't sure that it was a dream at all... or... was this the dream, perhaps a nightmare? This wasn't a normal dream... this was real... this was real. I woke up as Alan Ryver. I woke up smart. I woke up handsome. I woke up happy. I woke up worth something to someone. It was one of the greatest feelings in the entire world... the feeling of being wanted.

dream

did I ever want to wake up?





Chapter four: Gabriel Valentine

Hello, my name is Gabriel Valentine, and I am God... Well maybe not your version of God... I suppose it depends on how you define a God... If you happen to define God as an entity who has the power to bend reality to his or her will, then I'm your entity. I've been around... forever... quite literally... I've seen everything... again, quite literally. But... I don't want to be God anymore. I don't want to have this power; the power to sneeze and kill half the people in the world. The power to cough and bring them all back to life.

I eat, I don't ever sleep, I love, and I hate, I feel, and I don't ever get hurt. I think once when it was 1958 I came across a most peculiar young man named Johnny Wilde, he was the kindest person I had ever seen this world create, and yet he didn't hesitate to fight another person upon given circumstances. At the time I simply was bored and came to Earth. I looked like any other kid at the time... and I got picked on just like everyother kid at the time. Johnny would have saved me if I was in any real danger, I could have easily just turned them into inanimate objects and been on my way.

Johnny stopped them, he beat them to a proverbial pulp, then extended his hand to me, and helped me up to make sure I was okay, then walked away without a single word to me other than "you okay?", there was no gloating, no praise, no hate, no expectancy to be told "thank you" only love, and caring, and a feeling of being happy at the fact that I was okay... I wanted to see him more, so I followed him home. What a broken home it was... It turns out his real surname was Adams... I found out that everybody called him wild because of the way he fought. He had never been defeted, and had never been hit... not once... I looked for hime in my head, and soon realized who he was, and what his future was... he was a very important role in the world, he would hold it's destruction... how ironic that such a loving person would kill everthing he loved... I would intervene, but the world doesn't need a God, they need eachother.

I jumped into the air and flew to the clouds. I loved the way they looked: like Heaven. I watched the destruction and salvation of the world, then I blinked and I saw it all take a different direction: the destruction of the world then... nothing... I blinked a second time, and saw the world never plunge it's self into the situation...

I almost cried at the demise of Johnny Wild, McCormick, Ryver, Matsuda, Singer, Balckom...

all of them... I just want a place to belong among them... between them... with them... I loved all of them, I love all of them, I will love all of them. Time is not something I mesure the way you do, time isn't even really there for me... is anything?

How can you be sure that anything is real when you know you can erase it's existance with a flick of your wrist?

How can you be sure of anything when you cant feel it... like a dream that never ends, or never really begins, how can you be sure of anything when you arn't sure of the concept of something?

How can you understand REAL if you can't even grasp the concept of FALSE?


I love you all... so much... change the world you live in, change it for the better.

know the difference, know the hate, know the love, know the right, know the wrong, know the nothing, and most importantly: know the something.