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There was suddenly a lump in his throat where one hadn't been before. It causes Alfred conciderable pain to swallow and he found himslef gasping for air. Kaylei looked at him concerned but said nothing. The crone spoke on of what they would tell the army but Alfred couldn't listen to her. His neck was in too much pain and the only logical thought that could ring through his head was that the ambassador was still in the house.

The song stared out slow, each unknown word stretched into many sylabols. Then the spider picked up speed and sung faster and faster until one word could not be distinguisted from another. Alfred held the mushroom tight to his chest unsure about what would happen next. He knew now that anything was possible, and he expected the worst.

It was the ambassador who did it. It was always one of the ambassadors from the upper houses causing the trouble. This particular one was short and hairy, with torn hoes and and a bright red tunic that was too small for his plump body. He did not fit in well with the upper houses at all. Alfred quickly assummed that the ambassador was in fact quite drunk and believed that many others standing in the conservitory shared his opinion. Neverless, it was that ambassador who had done it. At least that was what the mime had told him.

"Get down!" Kaylei's voice broke through the terrible noise and Alfred ducked just in time to avoid the ambassador's outstretched hands. "Hold him down!" The crone ordered the soldiers who were already moving to restrain the man. Alfred crawled backwards like a crap trying to get out the ambassadors path. From behind him he heard a scream and the sound of breaking glass. Then, everything went black.

Alfred was sure that he was going to be sick. The scene that was layed out before him was more than his stomach could take. Above it all the mime sat on a rickity old throne laughing. Some reasonable part of Alfred's brain was still thinking though. This was all wrong. Something was all wrong. It was all Alfred could do to move out from under the table, but like Kaylei had mentioned before, there really wasn't anything to lose now.

His hands were shaking as Alfred pulled the golden lemon off of it's perch. It was infact made of precious metal and not of the pulp and juice that he needed to restore his manhood, but it was just what he needed for now. He couldn't believe that he had actually come this far. He didn't dwell on this thought for long though as the ambassador was screaming behind him still inflicted with the spider. Alfred needed to find a safe place to figure things out and he needed one fast.

It was as if lemons were raining down from the sky. The ceiling cracked but did not fall in and all of the lemons that had been carefully placed in the lemon chamber tumbled into the room below. A small white and brown spotted dog fell with them and landed softly in the pile of drapery unharmed. Alfred beamed from ear to ear. He was a man again!

Unless Alfred could find a new lemon, he was never going to be a man again. He spit on the mushroom and the spider and cursed the mime and the crone. He pictured Kaylei in his mind and felt his heart ache but she could do nothing for him now. He had all of the bow ties that he could ever want, but all he needed was one lemon.

"What the hell is going on here?" The crone screeched. "In only a matter of hours the army will be here to collect this monster and yet you insist on dragging us deeper into this cursed house!" Alfred had never heard the crone so angery. He slipped further behind the colum and hoped that he had not been spotted. Kaylei was cornered and reeling off some story about trying to hide from a spider. They were doomed. Alfred had to find that mime!

Alfred bit his bottom lip. It was hard for him to imagine that only an hour ago his torn tunic was enough to make him worry. Now he had lost his lemon and his manhood. He slipped under a table and took a few deep breaths. Panicing would get him nowhere. If he was going to find the magic mushroom he would have to pull himself together and talk to the thing that he feared most in the entire universe. The spider.

"Dancing lemons?" Kaylei looked sceptical and how could Alfred blame her? The dream made little to no sense. "Lemons are the key to this Kaylei." Alfred started to krack his knuckles but Kaylei reached out and held his hands still with hers. It was times like this that Alfred really wished he was still a real man. "I believe you." She replied. "Now let's go find that spider of yours."

"I said what?" Alfred was agasp. &You called the old crone an old crone.& KayLei admitted. "But I think that she knew that something was wrong. Has she even heard you talk before?" Alfred and Kaylei were making their way back down into the depths of the house. The spider in his throat had been laying dorment since his crone insult, but Alfred was wary of how much longer that would last. What was weighing on his mind more was what terrible thing it might make him say to Kaylei.

It was a room full of bowties. Alfred couldn't believe it. Who could possible wear all of these in their lifetime. It was beyond bizzare. As amusing as the room was it did nothing for his quest so he decided to move on. As he navigated through the halls alone a small spotted dog ran across his path and startled him. It paused for only a moment to examine him and then it was gone around the next corner.

The whole conservitory reeked with the smell of fresh lemons. Despite the atrocity that had just taken place there it made the room feel almost clean and fresh. Alfred cracked his knuckles nervously. A lot of good the lemons had done. Things were as bad now as ever!

A strange noise rang out from the hall. A cross between a wolf howl and a cow moo. Everyone froze where they stood. Kaylei and Alfred exchanged an anxious glance. It was headed their way.

"It's too late to save all of us now." The crone's voice was slow and deliberate. He eyes looked even more tired than usual. "The mime has spoken, and it has spoken the truth." She motioned towards the ambassador, pinned under the heaviest soldier. "This man is mad. He is the one who did it." The rest of the residents nodded in agreement but Alfred kept his head steady. He was not yet convinced. Something about that mime was too strange, and what had made the ambassador this way? Something was wrong.

Once he was alone Alfred had a chance to replay the mornings events. To his great embarrasment the one scene that recalled over and over again was the spider incident. It wasn't his fault that he was afraid of spiders, his mother had cultivated that fear in him since he was a babe. He only wished that he hadn't made such a specticle of himself, especially in front of Kaylei. He cracked his knuckles at the thought. He was happy when he reached the lemon chamber. That was enough thinking for now.

"Lemons." The crone whispered, a soldier stationed evenly on both her sides. "Lemons are the only thing that can stop this horrible thing from taking place." Kaylei rolled her eyes at Alfred. She wasn't superstitious like the rest of them. Alfred glared at her. To him this was serious buisness. The old crone knew everything. If she said that lemons were the key to stopping this, then lemons it would be!

Alfred was sure that if it were light enough to see anything at all he would have been able to see his breath in that small room. The ceiling was low and unfinished and he was just sure that it contained more than one monsterous spider. Still he had to press on. He had come to far to go back now. If the crone knew what he and Kaylei were planning she would never welcome them back into the group. No, he had to be brave. Kaylei was counting on him and he wasn't about to let her down.

Alfred was getting really tired. He had no idea what time it was and he could hardly remember the last time that he had slept. Kaylei's pace had also slowed and he suspected that she was feeling run down as well. Kaylei brushed the hair out of her eyes and sighed a little too loudly. Alfred almost shushed her but decided against it. Who was he to quiet her. Without any lemons he wasn't even a man anymore. Instead he just slowed his own page to match hers.

At that moment, more than anything else, Alfred wished that he could brush his teeth. He imagined that his breath was terrible. Kaylei didn't say anything but she did back away a step. &Is it gone?& She asked weakly. Alfred took a deep swallow. It was still a littl raw, but the lump was no longer there. &No Kaylei.& He answered. &It's gone.&

&I am the ambassador of Trent.& The ambassador Zeke protested. &There are no spiders or lemon trees to speak of in trent. This whole idea is absurd!& Alfred was surprised that the ambassador was suddenly using full sentances. It seemed as if he had regained his composure almost completely. &He's lying.& Kaylei whispered in Alfred's ear. &There are spiders everywhere.& (Bah! My typing is getting really shabby!)

He had butterflies in his stomach as he approached the massive house. Kaylei didn't seem the least bit uneased which only made Alfred feel worse. He gently squeezed the lemon in his pocket for luck as Kaylei swung open the creaky iron gates. Alfred could have sworn that he felt a cool breeze blow across his cheek as she did so. It was probably just his imagination, he told himself. That spider however, hanging from a branch to his left was not. Quickly he passed Kaylei and entered onto the property ahead of her.

"&I don't believe in lemons.& KayLei stated. Alfred nearly choked on his own tounge and he quickly rubbed his lemon to ward off bad luck. &How can you say that?& He choked out. &The very idea...& &I can say it because it is true.& Kaylei traced the lines on the wallpaper with her index finger absently. &I'll say it again. I don't believe in lemons.& She spoke the words so easily, as if what she described had no impact at all on anything. When Alfred was silent she looked back at him and shrugged. Then she continued on down the hall without another word."

From the corner of his eye he saw a flash of something yellow. It was Kaylei! She had made it! Alfred felt his strength restored and he heaved the mushroom off of his chest. The mimes smile turned down into a frown but before he could be taken in by it's expression Alfred stuffed the lemon in his eye. The mime keeled over clawing at it's face and Alfred was able to reunite with Kaylei at last.

Date: Mon Feb 16, 2009 2:10 pm
Gift: Red octopus
With that the mime was gone. He vanished into the dark halls as quickly as he had appeared leaving the rest of the residents staring at each other in disbelief.

&The ambassador?& The crone questioned. &Which one of you chaps is an ambassador?&

Alfred quickly shook his head no as did Kaylei and the rest of them. He felt a shiver run up his spine. The mime's creepy voice was still fresh in his mind, playing over and over in his head. &It was the ambassador who did it.& He had told them soft and low, his painted face glowing in the torchlight like some creature from the other side. Kaylei voiced the part that was bothering Alfred the most. &Mimes aren't supposed to talk.& She shuddered.

Date: Mon Feb 16, 2009 2:56 pm
Gift: Green octopus
&Why do you doubt the mime?& Kaylei asked as she dipped the rag back into the lemon juice. &What he say's makes sense.& She brought the rag back up to Alfred's shoulder and he winced as it touched the cut. &It's all wrong.& He grunted. &Mimes don't talk for one.& Alfred gritted his teeth. Why had he not gotten out of the way a split second sooner. Then his shoulder and his tunic would not be torn. &And who is this Zeke guy? Why have we never seen him before?& Kaylei looked thoughtful as she withdrew the rag again. &I don't know what to think anymore.& She admitted and dunked it into the lemon juice again.

Date: Mon Feb 16, 2009 3:41 pm
Gift: Red octopus
Alfred was very reluctant to turn around. Kaylei was still facing him anxiously, with dirt on her cheeks and messed up hair. She seemed younger somehow. &This is stupid.& He said. &We can't do this.& Kaylei rubbed her elbow and looked away. &Probably not.& She nodded then looked back. &But what is the alternative really?& She reached into her pouch and produced a single lemon. &Here.& She offered. &I think that you will need this more than I will.& Alfred couldn't help but smile. Maybe she was a little superstitious after all. He took the lemon and turned away. He was really going to do this.

Date: Mon Feb 16, 2009 3:56 pm
Gift: Blue octopus
The rock was smooth from being rubbed so often, and Alfred thought that it resembled the shape of a mushroom. He felt weary when he thought back to only the day before when he had stumbles upon Kaylei picking mushrooms in the forest. It seemed like an enterity had gone past since then. He quickly plucked up the stone and held it suspended in the air for a moment, almost sure that it would set off some kind of trap. He dared to breathe again when nothing happened. &This had better be the key.& He said to no one in particular and stuffed the mushroom rock next to his lemon.

Mon Feb 16, 2009 5:57 pm
Gift: Green Octpus
Alfred watched helplessly as the ambassador reached out for the golden lemon. In a matter of seconds it would be in in the man's plump fingers and Alfred wouldn't be able to rescue Kaylei or the rest of the residents. In one last ditch effort he flung his spider arm in the ambassadors direction as hard as he could. The spider broke free and sailed through the air towards the ambassador eventually attatching itself to his face. The golden lemon remained untouched. Alfred wondered in this. The spider was attacking the ambassador. The two were not on the same side. That meant the real person who committed the horrible act had to be... the mime!

If this sent to you twice forgive me. My laptop went all weird: Sorry about the brains. You lost out on the calamari because I was fresh out of octopus at the time. Don't read too much into it. I sent the odd no-octo item to a few others too.

Bwahaha! You had to point out the "grammatical errors" right off the bat didn't you? Way to make me feel like a moron! But it wouldn't really be the writer's forum if you hadn't! For the record though, what I'm typing is very much first draft! XD (Although I do have an ending in mind!) So I'm not really a stupid nooblet I promise! :3

Hey there!

I've got a special gift for you!

From: An anonymous benefactor
Message: Please post this message in the 111 (Writers forum) &It was somebody's birthday in the dream.& He told her. &But I don't know who's.& Kaylei nodded at him but didn't say anything. &Don't you have any ideas?& Alfred was getting impatient. Why was she leaving all the thinking up to him. &I don't know Alfred.& She said. &You're telling me that there were lemons and spiders waltzing together in a circle around a dancing mime? You think that that actually means something?& Alfred paused to check around the corner before they continued down the hall. &Probaby not.& He answered

Why don't you head over to your inventory and see what you got!

Nearly everyone who has posted in this thread since page 44641 had gotten at least one blurb (except for those that have gifting disabled - like maj and RA) and few regs that weren't around, Pan, Gambol, CO, probably a few more too. I sent one to flared because I thought that she was cute! XP

Maybe I'm not spying on you. Maybe I am one of you.... Then again maybe not!

Alfred heard his voice speak before he felt the pain get worse. Kaylei turned quickly to him. &What?& All he could do was shake his head. It wasn't him controlling his voice. Something had lodged itself in his throat, and he was pretty sure he knew exactly what eight-legged creature it was.