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Mood: emo / evil


I know my dear, dear friend only means well...but I can't help but listen to each word she says and take it to heart. She knows very well how I feel about a certain someone, and she thinks she knows the reality of this. She tells me, "You aren't in love with him, you're in love with the idea of him."

Me - WTF?

I ask her again and again what makes her say such a thing. How can she think this? She tells me, "Well, you're only in love with the idea that there is someone out there who understands you. The idea that there's someone who knows every single factor about you and yet still cares for you. But you do not love him. He is but a stranger."

Me - Say what?

I tell her that I've loved him for what, three years now? I know I love him. And it has nothing to do with how he feels about me or what he knows about me. It has everything to do with my feelings towards him for who he is! There is no "ideas" about my feelings! They just ARE!
She tells me, "He isn't the guy you're supposed to be with. And what happens if he meets a girl, huh? Someone who is in his own state? What then?"
I know this could happen. But I have 99% confidence in our relationship even if we are two states away. The other 1% is me worrying over him meeting someone else. She thinks I don't think about these things? I do! I worry every day about it!

He's everything to me and I wish I could say I'll never let him go. I wish I could say that we'll be together forever. Happy. But he's a person with his own feelings and his own life. He's everything I've ever dreamed of and more. There is no one out there that I'd even consider now. I've seen the light at the end of the tunnel and I'll only tread in this light. Any other light isn't good enough.

I know my friend only means well, but sometimes I wish she'd just shut her mouth and stop giving me those looks when I start talking about him.

Anyone who is going to try to change my feelings for him mind as well give up now. No way in hell would I even consider leaving him and no way will my feelings ever waver.

^-^