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L's Diary: Real World (Part Twelve) |
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L awoke with a spinning dizzy headache thanks to the lack of any sort of nutrition in his system for the past few weeks. He sat up and pulled his knees to his chest. The clock said it was four in the morning.
What was last night? Surely, that could not have been real....
In what coherently sane universe did L speak to Matt in his mind? It's true, the boy was a great influence on his life, but that was just... just...
He rolled over onto his side and clutched his knees to his chest and shoved his head sideways into a pillow. He needed something to get rid of this headache. Maybe some fresh fruit or pudding. Whatever. Pushing those thoughts aside, he let the pain and growing nauseous pounding take over his mind.
"L, are you alright?"
A hand touched his shoulder and he flinched slightly, batting it away quickly as he sat up once more. Looking over was a mistake. He regretted it instantly as he looked at the brunet beside him held a worried, yet hurt look in his eyes.
No, I am not alright. Do not ask me these questions. I do not wish to speak with you.
"Yes, Raito, I am fine."
The brunet's eyes softened, and his lips turned upward into a small smile.
Stop looking so earnest in your expressions. I cannot stand it.
Raito's shoulder slumped at the brushoff. L reached over and took the key to Raito's hand and ankle cuffs from his nightstand. Unlocking the shackles was a silent ordeal and L avoided the student's gaze that burrowed deep into his consciousness. After so much time of neglect, the sudden attention was unnerving.
As usual, L brushed that aside in an attempt to retain his calm demeanor. Instead of facing Raito, her threw a pair of the handcuffs to the man as he began walking toward the master bath.
"Put those on and follow."
Obediently, Raito clasped on the cuffs, the metal click sounding loudly in the still morning air. It wasn't like L needed to give the instructions. Only simple habit forced him to do so.
L headed toward the master bath, not bothering to check whether or not Raito was following, and began stripping.
"I shall shower first, today," he announced unceremoniously.
"Alright."
The mirror showed the student turning around and closing his eyes. L relaxed and slipped out of the last of his clothing and hurried to the shower, closing the wavy glass door as fast as he could. He edged toward the wall that held the shower knobs, trying to get as close as possible to the wall without touching the cold stone. He turned the shower knob quickly, and flinched as the cold water that misted off the streams from the shower head came into contact with his skin. Taking a shower first meant waiting for the water to heat, so he simply closed his eyes and waited.
Tentatively holding a hand out under the water proved for the liquid to be reaching his ideal temperature. With a small happy sigh, he stepped into the pseudo rain, allowing for its ribbons of comforting warmth engulf his body. If there was a singular reason for why he enjoyed showers, it was probably because he felt safe with the surrounding comforts of a warm blanket of water.
Of course, nothing like this could ever compare to how he'd felt when Raito held him.
Stop. Stop thinking about him.
The shampoo bottled he'd grabbed trembled as he squirted a small amount into his palm. He set the yellow bottle in the grove in the wall and set to wash his hair. He tilted his head back as he did this, trying his best to avoid getting the suds in his eyes. He hated how his back would pop whenever he did this. It set his posture back to being almost normal instead of the lazy slouching he'd picked up over the years.
Slowly, he massaged the citrusy smell into his hair, sighing sadly with the clumsy effort. He missed it when Raito had washed his hair for him. How he'd feel the other man press against his back and kiss his neck right before he'd rub the shampoo glob into his raven locks.
"Why..." he mumbled as he fell against the white shower wall, "Why can I not just allow for myself to accept him again?"
- -
Raito could hardly stand this anymore. After watching L mope around the Task Force for the past several days, he had grown tired of the lack of communication.
As of this moment, the raccoon-eyed detective was taking a shower. Thin, angular movements through a fogged and rippled glass door was all he could focus on. He missed being inside that space with his ex-love. He missed the way that they used to try their best to keep their voices silent, seeing as how Misa's room was the one through the wall directly beside the bathroom.
I wish I could be in there with him.
Instead, he watched the spindly, distorted silhouette of his former lover reach his thins arms up to gently massage his hair, his posture stretching upward into a somewhat more normal stance. With a sigh, the brunet rested his elbows in his thighs and covered his nose and mouth with cupped hands, his index fingers touching the inner corners of his eyes and pressing over them as he shut them, allowing the soft pressure of his fingertips to massage them. Slowly he wiped his hands along his face, bringing them to below his chin and pressed them together like he was saying a prayer. He rested his chin against his crossed thumbs and pressed his lips to fingers. With shut eyes, Raito kissed his own hand softly, wishing with an unexpressed fevor that he could have been kissing L instead.
Minutes dragged by as he kept his eyes shut and dreaming, falling almost into a trance.
I ruined it. For me. For him.
He considered opening his eyes as he almost felt the door of the shower open, but decided it wouldn't be worth it. He was losing the urge to even move.
Suddenly, he felt a pair of wet hands touch his own and a small metal key unlocked his handcuffs. Small droplets of water soaked into his pajama bottoms and he could feel their collective pool moving through the fabric. Warm, wet fingertips touched under his chin. Eyes still closed, he felt a pair of lips against his own.
There it was. The sweetest kiss along with the sweetest words he could have ever heard, more so than even 'I love you', was spoken then from those wet lips brushing against his own.
"Raito, I'm sorry."
- -
Why am I doing this?
He took the younger man's hand and led him, uncuffed and fully clothed, to the door beside the shower. Without stopping to strip him of his clothing, Raito stepped into the shower with him, pulling L into the rain against him. The detective stumbled slightly and fell, naked, into the student's arms. To his surprise, the younger man buried his face into the detective's shoulder and his body began shaking with reserved mitigation.
"I missed you," the student kissed his ear and confessed, wrapping his arms around the other man's neck. The detective was standing straighter now and was actually a bit taller than Raito.
L moved a hand up against the younger body's jaw and led the brunet's face to his own. He looked into those beautiful chocolate eyes and pressed his forehead against his lover's to kiss him slowly, gently, lovingly.
"I missed you, too."
He let Raito fall against the wall, and with calm hands, he began to unbutton the younger male's soaked shirt. As he peeled away the cloth from the brunet's body, L kissed the newly exposed inches of skin. He closed his eyes, feeling the younger male's body with only his hands as the water stroked both their bodies with downward motions. He pressed his lips to Raito's pectorals, marvelling at how they had lost their masculine form from only weeks before. His lapped gently at the Raito's smooth chest, drawing a small, trembling sigh-hiccup from those beautiful lips.
As his finger neared the last few buttons and helped rid the student of the cloth constricting his upper body, L brushed across Raito chest with his lips, eventually kissing his way to a rosy bud of a n****e. He licked gently, sucking enough to make Raito moan his name in a lasting, lingering breath and move his hands to begin massaging the back of L's head with his strong fingers.
L skimmed his nose downward as his hands wandered to the waistband of Raito's pants. He curled his fingers around the rim of the cloth, pulling down slightly and kissing Raito's hip bone. He was on his knees now, rubbing soothing circles against Raito's body with his thumbs.
"Ah-"
Raito's breath hitched as the older man pulled down his pajama bottoms. Eyes still closed and face obviously flushed from blind arousal, L ghosted his fingers along the younger man's hips, moving downward gently until he felt the other man's arousal with his nimble fingers. He hand his hand long the shaft slowly until he reached the tip and pressed his lips against the heated flesh. The brunet didn't bother trying to suppress his moan as the raven-haired male licked his arousal and began sucking the tip and pleasuring his shaft with a succession of applied movement and pressure.
"L..." he heard the student whisper, "Please..."
With a small smile, L moved forward, deepthroating the student. The lovely heaping waves of pleasured noises came down on him like warm rain. He held Raito's hips in place as he hummed and sent pleasuring vibrations that spread along Raito's body. The hands in his hair pulled harder and with an unashamed cry, Raito released into L's mouth.
The detective got up from his position on his knees and reached for the a bar of soap.
"Here, let me wash you."
And to his great pleasure, Raito nodded and agreed.
- -
The breakfast table was empty. At six in the morning, the other members of the Task Force had not yet woken up. Somewhere in his mind, L doubted they would for a long time. Terribly distracting things had been taking place in this room lately and he wouldn't blame them if they were avoiding another confrontation.
L enjoyed the privacy. It allowed for him to speak with Raito while eating breakfast.
"Why?"
L looked up from his fruit tart. Raito had beaten him to the speaking.
"To put it quite simply," he smiled, "I treat love as I treat ice cream."
Raito's eyes narrowed, and he bit his lip.
"Ice... cream?"
For the first time in weeks, L laughed.
"Everyone remembers their first flavor," he explained, "Mine was strawberry. People often become attached to to their first. Some will continue to indulge while others try to break away from their addiction, experimenting with new flavors and toppings. But, eventually, human nature will drive us back to our first, almost like a comforting memory."
"So... you're saying I'm like... your strawberry?"
Oh... I never told him.
"No, Raito," he smiled softly, "You are a different flavor."
"So I'm not your first..."
"To be truthful, no. My first was Strawberry, then Peppermint, but you are the one I have found my addiction in. You are my vanilla."
"Vanilla?" he asked, a mock shocked expression on his face, "Am I really that plain?"
"Do not think of it as plain. Just... comforting. Like vanilla, you can be paired with anything. Some associsate the taste with the concept of 'Smooth and flawless'. In a way, you have become that in my mind."
"I'm not perfect," he frowned slightly, "I think you've got it wrong."
"Neither am I," L murmured as he leaned over to kiss his lover on the cheek, "so we even each other out."
A hungry pair of lips quickly found satisfaction against his own and he began running his fingers through the brunet's soft strands of hair. Raito moaned into the kiss as L moved his hands under the other male's shirt. He kissed his way to the younger man's neck, a smile on his lips sitting atop the fading tanned skin.
Suddenly, the TV in the breakfast room flickered on, the surprised pair jumped apart. An ornate black W appeared on the white backdrop and the two of them tensed.
The student looked toward him in confusion, their gazes locking for a split second. What could possibly be so important?
"I've been trying to suppress the public, but someone leaked information to the media about Higuchi's accident and his being a possible Kira. They're demanding a press conference on the fifth."
A look of horror spread across Raito's face.
"L," he whispered in a panic, "that's in two days. The public wasn't supposed to even know about the Task Force and I..."
"I know. I will not let them have you."
 minikimii · Thu Mar 05, 2009 @ 02:51am · 0 Comments |
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