Dorian completed the quiz "How well would you survive a horror movie?" with the result Villain!.
Do you have a death-wish? No, more likely, you ARE the death-wish. You are the villain of this movie. How else would you know where all the foolish people hide, what the best weapons are, who isn't a virgin, etc? It is you who can shamble along at your leisure, and still catch up to the teens running at full speed. You are a maniac, and hungry for some assault and splattery. Sure, you'll be defeated in the end, but you have a guaranteed spot in every sequel, no matter how ridiculous and unbelievable that comeback becomes. Congratulations, you fiend..