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DBSK Fanfic Chapter 4
In case you're wondering where chapters 2/3 are, they're on private.
Fandom: DBSK/Super Junior Crossover
Characters: All DBSK members, Sungmin, Heechul, Eeteuk, and Kangin.
Pairing: Yunho/Jaejoong, Jaejoong/Heechul.
Rating: PG-13 For drug use, and mentions of alcohol and sex.
Genre:Humor
Author’s Note: Inspired by Tram and her crack addiction. Go Tram! xD Also inspired by the song Strong Baby by SeungRi. "Crack, crack, crack, crack!"
“Hmmm. What can we do to get back at Yoochun...” Jaejoong mused. It had been 2 weeks since the laptop incident, and he and Yunho were absolutely fed up with their jobs as maids. Yoochun hadn’t given them any real days off, he’d humiliated them, and he’d basically just mistreated them. So, tonight, Jaejoong and Yunho snuck away from him and were planning their revenge.
“How about we tell his mom that he’s a man-whore?” Yunho suggested.
“No, she wouldn't believe us,” Jaejoong laughed.
“...What about putting hot peppers in his food?”
“But Changmin or Junsu might accidentally eat it, and ruin it.”
“Fine, if you won’t listen to any of my suggestions, think of your own,” Yunho glared.
“Okay...how about we drug his food...and then send him to his mom’s house. I bet she’d love seeing Yoochun on drugs.”
Yunho and Jaejoong both cracked up.
“Yeah, I like that idea. But what how are we going to do it?”
“Well, since I’m the cook of this family, I’ll just slip it in before I deliver his food to him.” Jaejoong smiled at the simplicity of his plan.
“But how will we get drugs?” Yunho asked, still skeptical.
“Oh, that won’t be a problem. I have lots of connections.”
“If you say so.”
“Alright, I’ll have them by tomorrow then!”
************
The next morning, Jaejoong walked out the door wearing his tightest jeans and sluttiest tank-top. The other members stared at him, but didn’t question him when he got into a passing taxi. They were probably speechless.
After about half an hour, Jaejoong told the driver to stop. He got out, and quietly crept up to the back door of a tall apartment building. He hoped that his “connection” had got the text message he sent the night before, or twelve other men would soon know of he and Yunho’s plan.
The door opened a minute later, and as soon as Jaejoong opened his mouth to say hello a hand was clamped over it. A “shh” was heard.
“I couldn’t get them out of the house. So you’ll just have to be quiet and hide in the bathroom for a minute, okay?”
Jaejoong nodded, and started walking towards the bathroom.
“Heechul?” Eeeteuk’s voice called from upstairs. “Who was at the door?”
“Oh, it was just one of those church people trying to convert us. I told them that we weren’t interested,” Heechul yelled back.
“Okay. And tell Kangin to come up here for a minute, I need to talk to him about keeping his car cleaner. It smelled funny this morning.”
“s**t,” Heechul thought. “Sure, I’ll tell him! It’s probably all the beer he drinks in there!”
Jaejoong was heard laughing softly from the bathroom.
“Be quiet,” Heechul hissed. “I’ll be right back. I have to tell Kangin to go upstairs to talk to Eeteuk, alright?” Heechul returned a few minutes later.
“Okay, so what did you need from me?” Heechul whispered. He and Jaejoong were sitting on the edge of the bath tub. “And I like your outfit by the way.”
“Drugs. And thanks, that’s why I wore it.”
“Oh, you’re welcome! Err...what kind of drugs do you want?”
“Cocaine.”
“ Sure. I’ll be back in a minute.” Heechul walked up to the room that he shared with Sungmin and Hankyung. He reached under his bed, and pulled out a shoebox with different colored bags in it. But one was missing! He turned towards Sungmin, who was eating a piece of cake with pink icing.
“Hey, Sungmin? Have you seen a clear bag filled with white powder around here?”
“Yeah, I just used some of it to make this cake, since I needed a little more sugar. Want some?” Sungmin beamed. “It’s yummy!”
Heechul banged his head into the wall. “You idiot, Sungmin!” he yelled. “Do you know how much that stuff costs?”
“Sugar?”
“No, cocaine, you dumb a**! Now what am I supposed to give Jaejoong?!”
“You could give him this cake.” Sungmin suggested, dodging Heechul’s slaps.
“Why would he want a drugged cake?!”
“Because it’s pretty.”
Heechul sighed. “Alright, give me that.” Sungmin handed him the cake, and he walked down the stairs with it.
“Alright, Jaejoong. Here’s your cocaine.”
Jaejoong looked at the cake, then at Heechul.
“Cake?”
“Yeah, it’s a cake, alright?! But it has drugs mixed into it.”
Jaejoong rushed over to Heechul. “Now I don’t have to cook the drugged food myself! Thank you!” He quickly ran out of the house, leaving Heechul staring after him, wondering why his life was so odd.
************
Jaejoong came dancing into the house, singing. He walked up to his room, hid the cake in the shower, and forgot about it. Yunho walked into his room ten minutes later.
“There’s a pink cake in the shower.”
“Yep, that’s the drugged food that we’re going to feed Yoochun. Did you tell him that his mom called and wanted him to come over tomorrow?” Jaejoong asked.
“Yep. He’s going to leave in the morning, so I guess we should feed him the cake for breakfast. And you should find a better hiding place for that cake. If Changmin sees it, he’ll eat it all before you can tell him to stop.”
“Ah, true.” Jaejoong picked the cake up and put it in a big box behind his TV. “Remind me to give it to Yoochun in the morning!”
“Sure.” Yunho yawned. “I’m going to take a shower, since there’s no cake in there anymore.”
"'Kay. You know what we should also do to get back at Yoochun? Pretend to have sex! He'll be so creeped out!"
"...What the hell?"
Jaejoong laughed. "It's faking it, Yunho. Chill out."
"Fine."
************
Yoochun couldn’t sleep. His room was right next to Jaejoong and Yunho’s, after all.
“ Why do they have to be so loud...and gay? Sheesh, they’re worse than that Chinese dude in Super Junior. And I thought he was the gayest guy I knew...” He snuggled deeper into his blankets. But he could still hear them.
“BE QUIET! MY MAIDS SHOULDN’T BE KEEPING ME UP AT NIGHT!” Yoochun yelled in the general direction of the wall.
************
Jaejoong and Yunho woke up early the next day to give the cake to Yoochun. They found him sitting in his chair with dark circles under his eyes.
“Um, Yoochun, I baked you this cake as an apology for keeping you up last night.” Jaejoong said softly.
“It has special organic sugar in it, which will make you feel less tired,” Yunho added.
Yoochun looked at the cake skeptically. He slowly took one bite, and then another. “This is delicious!” He exclaimed. “But I have to go visit my mother now. You can have the rest of the cake.”
“What?! No, we made it for you! You have to...”
But Yoochun had already walked out the door.
“Our plan was ruined! Now what do we do with the cake?!” Jaejoong yelled.
“Let’s eat it.”
“...”
“Come on, it tastes really good, Jae!” Yunho had cut himself a slice.
“Fine.” Jaejoong reluctantly sat down to eat the cake. After a few bites, he was hooked. “This stuff is so addicting!” he cried.
“I know!” Yunho laughed crazily. “Heeheeheeeee.”
Changmin walked in. “Cake! Yum!” He cut himself a big slice too. Before long, everyone in the room was giggling and jumping around. Then, Junsu walked in.
“What the hell?! Are you guys high?” Junsu stared at the strange scene in front of him.
“Yep!” Changmin cackled as he jumped off the counter.
“...Who in the world would give them drugs.” Junsu said under his breath as he walked upstairs.
"Come on Junsu, don't be like that...have some fun with us!" Jaejoong cried as he ran after Junsu.
"...You didn't hear about tomorrow?"
"Tomorrow? Why, what happens tomorrow?" Jaejoong asked, confused.
"Apparently one of the girls in Girl's Generation was caught with some marijuana, so everyone in SM entertainment has to come in for drug testing tonight. You should probably tell Yoochun to come home too..." Junsu replied.
"s**t!" everyone yelled.
I had to fit gay Chinese dude in there somehow.
Hope it made you laugh, Tram.
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