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Ever since that first time, things haven't been the same. You ask why I'm scared, ask why I don't talk to you anymore, you ask why I hide. Just think back to what you did to me and you'll find your answer.
I've been hiding and keeping myself quiet for so long now. It's like we're little kids who get into a fight over some toy truck. I decided that I should have my turn to play around for a bit, you got angry, thinking the toy truck was allll yours, so, you hit me. Being a little kid and all, crying seems like the only reasonable thing to do. Well to this little kid at least. Other toddlers might have fought back, screaming at you, kicking you with there tiny pink and blue Sketchers...but not me. I looked down at my pink sketchers and cried, hoping some one would notice.
Well...since we aren't little kids, it's just a tad different. Things were mostly the same, the selfishness, the screaming, the crying, and of course, the waiting.
Again, like a little kid, when a child gets scared once. They stay scared. Always afraid that whatever, or who ever, had scared them will jump out in front of them when their mommy isn't looking. Me, for example, always afraid that you will jump in front of me and start it all over again. I don't hide behind Mommy though, I have my own "shield". And thanks to you, I can't get out from behind that shield.
Oh, I've tried to get out from behind it. Not a lot, I must admit. But I have tried. I tried talking...that didn't work. I tried not hiding so much...that didn't work, at all. So I'm behind my shield again. Thank you for my "protector". My hope of calming things down...even when my own hope puts me in more danger.