For the longest time iv thought of myself as ugly, I think last night at Alterra I figured out that its the imperfections that make you fall in love with something, someone that is perfect has nothing to strive for there are like an empty shell and blank. I think I would rather live with an imperfection then to be perfect, I mean sure perfect people are beautiful to look at but it’s the imperfections that make us special. I wouldn’t trade my big nose for e little nose any day!!!
I never think I will truly fall in love with anyone, I don’t think I could hold a relationship together. Another problem with live is that it takes a whole lot of rejection before you find the right person. I myself am too afraid of rejection to even tell someone of my true feelings. I don’t want to be laughed at or ruin a friendship just because of that. I think I would need a LOT more self esteem before i could ever do that.
So there is this guy iv known for a long time and iv liked him for like forever( I know I know you hear this all the time and my story is no different but you know what it still matters). But I KNOW I would ruin our friendship if I told him how i felt. it doesn’t matter if I’m sad or angry when I’m around him(witch isn’t often)I always smile and laugh. I want to tell him how I feel but I think he has feelings for an old friend that told rumors about me (in last entry). Like I said I cont take rejection but I relly like him. I wish things weren’t this complicated.
Love, disney20038
