Welcome to Gaia! :: View User's Journal | Gaia Journals

Years ago I remember the most beautiful girl I had met. I had known her for a while and she was just a great friend. We grew up together and then started going to school we each other. I remember I used to think the world of her. I started to like her... I remember that day I had walked with her and she ran ahead of me to the top of the street. Standing at the corner of the sidewalk I saw her look back and smile at me. Her face gleamed in the sunlight; I looked into her eyes and just couldn’t help but just stand there and smile. She had asked if I was going to come with her. *luaghs* boy was I in a trance. The months went by and February was rolling around and all guys dread that day the 14th, that year it was on a Thursday. It was in the age and time that no one wanted to be caught dead without a date on valentines. It was Monday before the week of the 14th. I was nervous and walked up to her and ask with a trembling voice.."..Will you be my valentine?" she looked back at her friends and made a scene yelling at me. I was shocked and confused. After everyone had left she came to me and said she would love to be and was sorry for her outburst. She said she wasn’t sure what her friends would think. I went home that day with a grin from ear to ear *smiles* ah yes I was a proud accomplished boy then. Thursday had come and I had given her a bear chocolate and a rose. In return I got a bug huge and thank you. Back then that was a big thing minds you. We were together for a while and spring was a calling and with it can the spring dance. My two friends in student council were at a desk selling tickets and I went up with a smile on my face and said "two please" I looked back and saw that the lady of my dreams was being harassed by some bully's. Well the typical guy I went in and pushed the guys off defending my love. The drama teacher was there and all she saw was I pushing the other boys and a fight erupted. It was cold and smelled odd inside the administrator’s office. A smell of peppermint and cinnamon. The other boys were in another room and she gave me a clipboard with a piece of paper and a pencil. She had a curved nose and when angry made her look like a hawk.
"Write your side of the story,” she told me sternly. In the end I was given detention and my ticket o the dance was revoked. I talked to my love that evening and told her what had happened. She was upset and was not going to go to the dance which was that Friday but I had old her "no go, I just want you to be happy that’s all I ever want" Saturday she called me at 10:23am she told me she was leaving me and had found a new boy at the dance. I was devastated I couldn’t believe after all that it was over. I was angry then anger turned to sadness and that would turn to depression. I felt like a loser and thought I was nothing. In school her new "man" was one of those "bad guys" (I hold nothing against him) getting in fights was a daily routine for him. It was awful for me to watch her stand buy the choice she made. The year was ending and summer couldn’t come any sooner. That summer I kept away from her and was able to get myself back together. It felt like I move out to another country where the tyranny I new was nowhere to be found. But it wasn't over for school was 1 week away and there she would be.

Standing waiting for the bus I can face to face after months of confinement from her. She walked up to me and said she was sorry and wanted to be forgiven. My mother taught me well so I did. 2 weeks later she came up to me asking for a second chance at things that she was sorry and was so wrong for what she did. Everyone deservers a second chances right? So I said fine sure and with that she gave me a big huge and a kiss on the cheek making them rosy red. Riding on the bus one day sitting next to her holding her hand I thought "this looks like its going to be a good year" the first two months had gone by and I hadn’t trusted her for some time but she stayed faithful to what she had said and with that I softened. I let my wall down trusting that this girl is mine, my true love and she will still be like she is now... and forever. The year was fairly steady now and we got to know our teachers. My English teacher was a great friend and mentor (even to this day) her class was fun and I looked forward to it all the time. After school I would visit and my love now a cheerleader and whose coach was my English teacher would sit with me before she had to go to her practice. My teacher wouldn't forget to remind me daily on how much of a cute boy I was and how I am such a gentlemen. All I do is love this girl and then she would smile and hug me. She would say I’m a bright boy with a lot of potential and to make sure I don’t fall back in my studies, which I didn't. It was winter and I was a bit worried about the winter dance. We were walking in the building her, and me I was holding her by the arm. She was so beautiful wearing a white dress that shimmered in the light. Her hair was down and she had a bit of makeup on her cheeks. She was amazing. Unlike before things were smooth sailing so far. I had kept myself on high alert to make sure everything went according to plan heh *laughs* my plan was to make sure I didn’t have a repeat of the year before in spring. But so far so good no, fights, no other boys just me and her dancing together to one of the slow songs. Heh I remember putting my hands on her hips and she was so much taller than me then. I didn’t care though she meant the world to me and seeing her smile the way she did was the best thing I could ask for. The last song, which would become "our song”, was announced for couples only. I remember moving my hips to the smooth motion of the melodies playing. I could feel the music in my soul and then I looked up inter her eyes. It took me back to the day at the sidewalk. The lights in the room made her turn into an angel. I moved closer to her face hesitantly my heart pounding my palms grew warmer but I noticed she was coming in too. With that I closed my eyes and felt her soft lips press against mine. Mmm they tasted like cherries. It was unreal time had stopped and I was there for what seemed like forever. I didn’t want it to end. It was the best day of my life. Moving back she leaned her head on my shoulder and we swayed to the song till the end. Riding in the car my dad took us home. I was holding her hand smiling happier then ever before. I glimpsed at my dad who was looking at me in his rear view mirror. I saw him smirk and give me a wink. It was the best thing that had ever happened to me.
It was nearing Christmas break and we both and worn Santa hat's on the last day before the break. It was a nice easy day all the class did was watch movies relax have parties and listen to Christmas music. At the bus yard I kissed her goodbye a little nervous that I may not see her for a while. I loved her and knew she would be going away. I missed her so much and couldn’t wait to return to see her bright smiling face. When I saw her again she ran to me and I picked her up and spin her around. She missed me just as I missed her everything was just grand. However history likes to repeat itself and with spring...things began to sway. Others would tell me of her messing with other boys. I told them "no she would never do such a thing she loves me! Besides I trust her." but one day I stayed after school and saw for myself what was really going on. Her friend’s boyfriend had her arm around her. The next day I went up to her and asked about it I told her I was there I had seen it with my own eyes. She started to cry and I felt like a jerk. She told me it was nothing serious she said she would never do anything to hurt me... she said "I love you now and forever baby" I apologized and gave her a huge and said I was sorry forever accusing her. But was it true? Rumors started to stir again of her messing with other boys but this time it was much worse and more serious. I tried to root out the source but was unable to do so. One day I was sitting at lunch and saw her smile and look not at me but at someone else. WHO!? I looked around frantically for whom it may be was it just a friend or a guy? I was on edge. Her best friend came to me one day and we talked. She told me it was true but wouldn’t tell me who. I was upset but I wanted to know. She didn’t have the heart to tell me. All she could do was tell me where to go to see. I went after school and I saw her with him. My eyes lit up. I was upset going there a bit angry but at that very moment I was appalled of who I saw her with. She had her arms wrapped around my best friend. The one who said he always have my back the ol' bros before *cough* um "chicks"... but I couldn’t believe it. I turned away I just couldn’t bring myself to look any longer I couldn’t bare it. I went to see her best friend and instructed her to give this note to my love. On it I wrote of how I couldn’t believe what she did I love you how could you. I will always love you and I’m sorry forever wasting your time. I placed it in her hand and she was teary eyed and nodded. She gave me a hug and was off. I turned around hands in my pockets head hung low. On my way out I saw her friend again. She told me she gave my love the note and that she tried to sway her to stay with me and that what she was doing was wrong. She then told me that my love had said she didn’t care and that she had done it once she'll do it again. I was speechless and just turned the corner walking away. At the door I bumped into someone when I looked up my eyes widen. My love. My love. In her hands was a crumpled piece of loose leaf written in blue ink. She looked at me throwing my note to the floor. She told she didn’t care. I balled my hands in a fist yelling "WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T CARE! DID YOU EVEN READ IT!?!" She smiled an whispered with a soft smooth tone "..No" then she laughed at me...it was as if she had smacked me in the face and spit on me while I was down. Complete and utter insult to injury. I was heartbroken... she left..She was gone.. Forever. My best friend came to me and said "hey man I’m sorry I didn’t mean to...I didn’t know.." he was right I found out she never told him her relationship to me. Grabbing his shoulder I looked at him chocked up "just take good care of her...make sure she's happy..Always" with that I left.
After the break I was quiet in my classes only doing my schoolwork and keeping to myself. I was always thinking trying to figure out what it was I had done wrong. My English teacher came up to me and said she noticed I’ve been different. She told me to come see her after school. When I came to her she said she heard what had happened and gave me a hug. I broke down in her arms.
"All you ever did was love that girl. I can't figure out why she would do that. Guys like you are hard to find and that new boy she's with *she makes an ugly face* I don't like him" she gave me a lecture about love and relationships. She said its hard now and it always will be. She said I could come to her anytime for anything and I did and still do now.

My one true love...well so much for that. I learned a lot through that experience though. The next years were hard watching her be with someone else and having all those memories come flooding back just to see them be ripped away as she makes new ones with others. However I adapted and overcame. That in a sense is the foundation on who I am as a person toady. though I will never forget her I do forgive her. Given another chance with her I don’t know what I would do. As the years have gone on she continued to stray from the "right path" and has done some things I won't mention. -sigh- we cannot live in the past and I do not condemn her for the choices she makes but she will always have a special place in my heart.