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It seems that I always become thuper antisocial whenever i feel like i'm a dissapointment. and i feel that way ALL the time. i mean, i always feel like i'm not doing my best, and people say its good enough but i don't know. Im always scared, usually i'll channel my fear through anger. apperantly people don't like that. F*ck, i cant even cut anymore cuz im to afraid. its like, now i actually want to live, but i don't. nothing makes sence because "im not mature enough" it is true but it sucks that i phisically can't understand sh*t, because if i can't why is it there? First i dissapointment my family somehow, and then that feeling infects everything else, i feel like "if im dissapointing my parents, then who else am i dissapointing.

I saw a video of a kid screaming is head off and going phsychotic because his parents took away his World Of Warcraft account. I was laughing but really, aren't we all like that. Something that wouldn't make a difference in the world that we still hold dear as a symbol for something better. Is it good to get attached to stuff??? maybe, sometimes i just wish i could skip these years and everyone would pick up where they left off when i'm older and smarter and more capable of not f*cking up.