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boardom, my most common weekness
my story ( I need a name for it!!! It has no title !) lol
Ok, I'm working on a story so I'll give you some info about it. But plaese do 2 things ! post ur opinion, and a title idea ( no, i haven't named the story, I'm not good with names.)


I kind'a tried to put a summery, but it just went into the story. but its actully longer, the real version that is.

And Naoko means honest. And Takeo meas strong like bamboo. heart



This story is about a young teen aged girl named Elisa who lives in San Fransisco and finally gets to go on a business trip with her mom to Kyoto Japan. But after being there for a day, Elisa wakes up to see her mom is gone. She runs down stairs before breakfast at the hotel is over, seeing a boy, with his little sister on the elevator. When she reaches the cafeteria, she finds what left of the food, and her mother sitting at a table in the back of the room. She walks toward her when she trips with her oatmeal flying on some Lady's head. But just in time someone had caught her. It was the boy from the elevator. He helped her up, and Elisa thanked him. She turned to go towards her mother, but then the room seemed to crash down.

The boy grabbed her arm as dust filled the room and people screaming ran everywhere. "Come on!" he yelled to her, "WE HAVE TO GET OUT OF HERE!!" Elisa had known that voice from some where, but she didn't have time for that, "NO ! I have to get to my mom! Help me or not !" Elisa started running towards the table where her mother was before the dust and the boy fallowed. They could see, but they stopped to try to listen for her mother. Suddenly they heard a little voice cry out. "NAOKO !!! HELP ME!!!" The boy turned to the sound, "TAKEO !! If you can hear me.. WHERE THE HECK ARE YOU !?! " he yelled. Elisa stopped watching him yelled and started again.... " Mother !? where are you !??!?! Mom !!!! ANSWER ME !!!" But Elisa got no reply " I'm over here with a ugly man !" The little voice called back who was earlier calling for apparently, that boy with Elisa. "Who you calling ugly little girl? ha ha ha, apparently no one though you any manners! "

The dust and smoke started clearing. And Elisa and the boy could see some figures on the other side of the room. The boy started running towards them, he pulled back his fist as if about to punch the tall figure. Knowing it wasn't Elisa's mother, or his sister. He lunged it forward. And pphooousshh!!! Something or someone knocked him right across the face sending him flying .So he flew into a couple chairs rolling over a table and then falling off it and landing on his front. "ha ha ha ha ha, you gotta be kid'in me kiddie." The voice said, " You think you could caught me off guard. Ha ! ridiculous ! And to think you caught me alittle off guard." "Oh no!" Elisa said to herself as she ran towards the boy then looking back towards the "ugly man" with Takeo, or the little girl. "Who are you ?!?" Elisa yelled standing up.




ok, theres more, but I don't feel like typing it.lol please remeber, yes, this is sorta a summery, and there is more detial to what you read above.






User Comments: [2] [add]
erixflyheight12
Community Member
avatar
commentCommented on: Sat Jan 07, 2006 @ 06:53am
This story is Great!!!! 3nodding and i know great, i'm a wrtiter (not a good one), but i know a good writing when i see it, i want to read more. it's cool.
I don't know what you should call it, sorry. sad


commentCommented on: Thu Jun 08, 2006 @ 08:36pm
i think this is a good story you just need some pictures i will love to read the whole thing mrgreen you need a good name i think "love conqures all" will be good just have the boy and Elisa fighting toghter and win



Inuzuka Lil D
Community Member
User Comments: [2] [add]
 
 
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