My life sucks right now.
I'm broke, i have no job, my car is starting to die, my friends are spread over God knows where, and my relationship with Jackie is starting to scare me.
I forgot to call her last night, i wanted to talk to here so bad, just to hear her voice i was up til' 7:30 this morning because i felt so bad.
I think i know what's wrong with me, why i've been talking to so many people and just doing things out of the ordinary, at least for me. I'm lonely.
I just want to be a part of somthing, like i was in high school. That's why i keep coming back to Norwell. To feel like i'm a part of somthing, somthing good. I get to see friends and laugh about what's going on in the world. What's wrong with me?
This whole smiling thing is starting to get out of my hands, i've been under so much stress that i didn't even realize it until last night.
I "finally" know what i want for Christmas.
I want to be a part of somthing, to not be alone. Ever.
There, i at least feel a little bit better because i got that off my chest.
(sigh)
Matt
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As far as our relationship starting to scare you, don't worry too much about that either. You know I love you and always will. Everything will work out. I know it will. Have a little faith.