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"Mr. Sanberg, thanks for coming to your performance review."
"No problem."
"So, you're in charge around here; is that fair to say?"
"Absolutely, I'm the boss."
"So, take us through a day in the life of 'The Boss'."
"Well, the first thing I do is...
Talk to corporate
(Like a boss)
Approve memos
(Like a boss)
Lead a workshop
(Like a boss)
Remember birthdays
(Like a boss)
Direct workflow
(Like a boss)
My own bathroom
(Like a boss)
Micro-manage
(Like a boss)
Promote Cinergy™
(Like a boss)
Hit on Debra
(Like a boss)
get rejected
(Like a boss)
Swallow sadness
(Like a boss)
Send some faxes
(Like a boss)
Call a sex line
(Like a boss)
Cry deeply
(Like a boss)
Demand a refund
(Like a boss)
Eat a bagel
(Like a boss)
Harassment lawsuit
(Like a boss)
No promotion
(Like a boss)
5th of Vodka
(Like a boss)
s**t on Debra's desk
(Like a boss)
Buy a gun in my mouth
Oh, f*ck me again, f*cking do it, sh*t
p***y out
(Like a boss)
Puke on Debra's desk
(Like a boss)
Jump out the window
(Like a boss)
Suck a dude's d**k
(Like a boss)
Score some coke
(Like a boss)
Crash my car
(Like a boss)
Suck my own d**k
(Like a boss)
Eat some chicken strips
(Like a boss)
Chop my balls off
(Like a boss)
Black out in the sewer
(Like a boss)
Meet a giant fish
(Like a boss)
F*ck his brains out
(Like a boss)
Turn into a jet
(Like a boss)
Bomb the Russians
(Like a boss)
Crash into the sun
(Like a boss)
Now I'm dead"
"uh-huh, so..That's an average day for you then?"
"No doubt."
"You chop your balls off and die?"
"Hell ya."
And at one point there, I think you said something about sucking your own d**k?"
"Nope."
"Actually, I'm pretty sure you did."
"Nah, that ain't me."
"Okay, well, this has been eye opening for me."
"I'm the boss"
"Ya, no, I got that.
You said it about 400 times."
"I'm the boss."
"Ya, ya, I got it."
"I'm the boss."
"No, no, I got it!"
"Like a boss!"