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1. Have a cool MySpace layout
2. You are a really popular guy at school or a lonely emo kid
3. You can't be something in between
4. You don't listen only to Deathcore, you also like The Faceless and The Black Dahlia Murder
5. The new Job for A Cowboy record is so lame; you prefer the 'old' stuff with a lot of bree bree grunts.
6. You don't give a s**t what people think
7. But be constantly involved in a fight over the internet.
8. Your band logo must be real' br00tal.
9. But your band name is in fact Rose Funeral or Bring Me the Horizon.
10. Be br00tal, but not too much 'cause eating babies and having sex with corpses is kind of disgusting.
11. Instead, sing about personal struggles, society and love.
12. Listen (or make believe you do) to at least 3 or 4 death metal band to higher your credibility.
13. Be Christian.
14. Dress like a gangster but wear a Suffocation shirt.
15. The stuff you listen to must be fresh and less than 10 years old because the 90's are over now.
16. Ruin a song with random breakdowns.
17. You're allowed to listen to rap and metalcore/screamo.
18. Label yourself as "Gore not Core" even if you're Waking the Cadaver.
19. Change musical direction after 2 albums because trends don't last.
20. Or label yourself as Death Metal because people made bad critics about your band being poser metal.
21. Never review a band/album on any metal websites.
22. Because if you like that album, people will call you names.
23. Wear tight jeans and stretch earrings.
24. Be shy and by yourself at concerts.
25. Because we know you came for the opening band.
26. But you might dance like a ninja on steroids if you are with some friends.
27. But don't mosh.
28. Inhale scream (or bree bree grunt if you're more br00tal).
29. When your band is on a line-up with metal acts, your band mates must wear their DEATH METAL shirts.
30. So the crowd can appreciate your music.
31. Headline a 20 year old Death Metal band.
32. You have discovered Cryptopsy because of The Unspoken King.
33. Look like your girlfriend.
34. Get signed by Metal Blade for your very first release
35. After one EP onlyt, release a lot of merch.
36. I mean tons and tons of merch.
37. Musical content is the least important part about your band.
38. Use the word "brutal" a lot.
39. Overuse it desperately.
40. You don't know what black metal is.
41. Sound exactly the same as the 5 other bands on the tour.
42. Look like a queer.
43. You're forbidden to have long hair because it's dirty and you don't want to look poor.
44. You listen to girly metal.
45. Dress like any kid on the street.
46. as long as you fit in.
47. Your band's T-shirts are full of flashy colors with rainbow sentences on the back.
48. You have a lot of friends on Facebook.
49. By looking at you, people must not know you listen to metal.
50. Metalheads are so unpopular.
51. Have brutal and unoriginal band names such as Dance Club Massacre, Annotations of an Autopsy or I Killed the Prom Queen.
52. You're only touring because the tour promoter want to make some money.
53. Old School Stuff sucks.
54. Insult emos.
55. Even though you're probably one.
56. Convince people to lower their pants and cut their hairs.
57. But do it over the internet.
58. Or else people are going to call you p***y.
59. But people will also call you p***y on the internet, see rule #7.
60. You must at least have an emo, a gangster and a bald guy with stretch earrings in your band.
61. Teacher-looking guys are also accepted.
62. You're a slave to trends.
63. You must encourage metal to be mainstream and popular.
64. Make heavy music but make sure to look like a f**.
65. Go at Summer Slaughter every year.
66. Have a user name similar to 'XxHrdCoreDeathStrikerxX'.
67. Say you're unique and so special and that's why there are so many haters
68. But in fact, you look like most of the kids around you.
69. Wear a cap.
70. When hardcore dancing at a show, make sure not to hit anyone but keep kicking and punching the wind.
71. You will be socially accepted.
72. You won't be alone, there might be 3 or 4 other ninjas fighting with you.
73. Haircuts are metal.
74. You do not own any of your CDs.
75. Who needs CDs when you have LimeWire.
77. Oh, and never mosh/hardcore dance during a non-breakdown part!
78. You have a blog.
79. You have a Youtube video of you trying to pig squeal over your favourite song.
80. Why bother trying to finish your song with another great part?
81. Just put a breakdown.
82. Kids love them.
83. And they sure are easy to make.
84. You never run out of breakdowns.
85. Because they all sounds the same.
86. And are catchy.
87. But in fact are weak and unoriginal.
88. And the fact that you have blast beats in your song will make it good and compensate for your cheap breakdowns.
89. Remember, hate emos.
90. They are so uncool.
91. You are cool because you wear a cap, see rule #69.
92. Steal riffs from other bands.
93. Cover nü metal songs.
94. Make grammatical errors in your lyrics.
95. Do not EVER print a T-shirt with something on the back.
96. EVER!
97. It's forbidden.
76. I forgot rule #76 so here it is.
98. Be gay.
99. Don't cry, you're a big boy now.
100. I now realise that rule #95 contradict with rule #47.
101. Whine about the above on the comment space.