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That time in my life DID suck, but right now it seems so insignificant. I've come so far gained and lost almost that exact same feeling over and over again. I think I spend all my self confidence on girls... Whatever bits I do have right now I tend to waste on what I can't have.

But dude, relationship wise... the span since all the private crap thats in this journal to this entry has really put things in perspective. Since then I've basically tripled my experiences with relationships, some more complicated than others, but as of this moment I'm single and its not bothering me as much as the whole I need a job thing is. But it IS up there on priorities.

Ramble ramble, thats what I do here.

Jess only talks to me when she's horny, and since she has a new, new bf I probably won't hear from her for another year. Not that I'm really complaining, other than sexually we really are totally incompatible.

Liz, I still feel the need to avoid, something about finalizing the fact that I don't see her as a potential relationship still bugs me. I know how much it sucked for her to hear that. I'm sorry things ever got as far as they did.

Mellisa, I still want a redo of that kiss in Destin. Your hair blew right in front of our mouths and I feel like it was a total miss.

Crista, playing it cool got me pretty far with you, but I think I slipped a bit to much and sounded desperate and now you seem to have the upper hand in all this, its very hard to not call ya and ask to hang out. I know you're crazy about me too though, so I just have to keep telling myself to let things happen as they happen.

Other liz, shoulda pushed you a bit farther. You were fun.

L. Beth, gawd I still think I love you. Even if its just superfriend love, I think I do. You really overload my awesome receptors. Wish we could have dated.. but I lacked the courage and now you found someone else. But hey, things happen for a reason, and I'm cool with that.

Erika, still not sure why we broke up. I hate that we did, you were fun and you made me feel special. Its odd how I wanted that relationship to work more than any other but it just exploded and I feel like its not really my fault but it is all at the same time. You were just to young and inexperienced to really understand what you were doing. Thats the way I see it.

So wow, when I put it all down I haven't been THAT out of luck with the ladies over the past couple of years. Just unlucky at making anything last more than a month.

If anyone reads my journal (Which I'm pretty sure no one does, but I still keep some entries private on the "in case" wink don't think I'm some whore for this. Most of this is really innocent stuff. [HAHA LIES!] shut up. [NO!] But still, I don't ever fool around just for the sake of fooling around [its never just hormones LB, god ******** damnit, I told you that.] I really do stand by the statement that I have or could have (if things were allowed to progress) loved each and every one of these women for their own inner and outer beauty.