Stunning, absolutely stunning.
It was all her fault, all her ******** fault. She wouldn't hold back, she wouldn't play nice, she wouldn't look up and giggle and smile cutely as if nothing was wrong. The strings that kept this mannequin moving were snapped and broken, and the mask was off.
Now she lay writhing in bed, staring at the ceiling at 1:45 in the morning. Yes...so late she had stayed up, but she could not sleep. There was this ache in her chest, this never ending fatigue. She couldn't escape, she couldn't run away, she couldn't kneel down and pray. Congratulations world, you got to her.
All the couples, all the love, all the happiness, all the ******** ever afters...left her behind.
She now stood in a blank white abyss, with nothing but her shadow as her company. Her heart cried and weeped, begging,"Won't you move? Won't you let me meet my friend? My mate? My lover to be? We are ment to see each other again since God planned us in mind's eye! Why do you keep me from them?"
The girl replied,"Silly heart...you do not trully know."
"How do I not know?" It replied,"I am you and you are me."
"No, you are not me. You feel, yes you do, but I do not." She looked back out into the blank white space. "I am....blank. A piece of paper, perfectly unscratched, virgin in all ways. My lips are mine, my body is mine, nobody shall or has ever touched it. I am a blank canvas...never once feeling the passion of red love splashed upon me." With a sad smile she added, "I am me."
"No!" The heart cried,"You are an amazing person! Filled with colors and light and innocence that this world lacks! You have large plans in store for you, you alone could change this world! I know how you look at our country, how you see such easy solutions. What holds you back?"
Fear.
Fear of everything. Fear of cars, fear of phones, fear of roads, fear of...people. Fear of God.
"My child, my child, don't you know that you are loved? The fear you hold for me is not true, you fear me in ways that I wish was not so."
The girl let a tear run down her cheek, feeling it stain the bust of her shirt.
"How can you understand...you are love. All you know is to love. I...can not love. I can not let anybody close enough to my heart without pushing them away or cowering in fear." She held her hands to the blank air above,"Can't you see? I have caused my own downfall. Because of this pain, because of this anguish, I shall forever be alone."
Suddenly her knees did not agree with her, and she was plummeting to the ground. Crying her shoulder's shaking, her hands curled into tight fists, she wept for her own existence. What mark did she leave? When she left the world...was she to be forgotten?
This was it. The heart of a woman. A woman needs the comfort of a man's arms, the warmth of a man's touch, the relief of a man's strength.
But she had none.
Her suitors, they had come in the past, but all had been driven away by the fearful nature of this girl. She would smile and laugh, they would flock to her innocence, then feelings developed.
They wanted to touch, to kiss, to hold and to love.
She wanted none of that.
"You are all...merely brother's to me." She would fool herself into believing. "I cannot say that I am actually fearful of what may happen. I may fail you."
But the true fear was what the world portrayed. That in this time and day, would she really find everlasting love?
"You can in me." Her heart spoke.
"No God." She replied. "I need to feel the contact of a man...not the warmth of a spirit."
"My child...I wish you could understand."
The thoughts he placed upon her left her in a pause; God promised to fill every empty void in her heart. She had felt that love, it is true, but does not every girl still long for their prince upon a stallion? To sweep them up and carry them to their happily ever after?
"Life..." she whimpered, curling up on her own in the empty void of her heart,"is not a Disney Fairy Tale."
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The Key of the Twilight
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