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I don't exactly know how to say it, but have you ever felt a point in life when all you can do is wonder what this is all supposed to add up to in the end? When, at the end of a "very productive day", one is left with nothing but a feeling of emptiness nonetheless. It seems to be that way for me a lot these days. I'm not sure why I came back to this site, but I do enjoy writing in this journal, even if it is complete strangers reading these entries. I'm okay with that, really.
I work as a cashier, and as a by-product of that I get to see a huge variety of people come through my checkout lane everyday. All walks of life, literally. I often wonder what my mark on their lives is going to be, if I am to just be remembered briefly as the nameless girl who did nothing of meaning but to give them the total of some items, and falsely wish them a nice day. Sure, I get tired, but so does everybody else in this world. We all get tired of just going through someone else's motions, instead of being true to the path we could be taking. Yet, somehow, it happens anyways, and there is no real choice but to try and salvage pieces of who we are as individuals in a world run by bureaucrats that would rather have us all be digits in the matrix of life.
I don't know, I guess that a lot of the time I feel so out of place here in society, though I seem to fit in just fine, and genuinely care about what happens to others around me, even if they are complete strangers. Does it make a difference in the end? Shouldn't it be more valued to try and be remembered as the one who may not have been the richest, or the best-dressed, but instead the kindest spirited. Not in jesus-like proportions, but just in the way that says "Yes, I value you as a person, and I'll try to help you in some way".
Maybe I need to stop thinking so much, but then again maybe I'm just someone with a few things to say. Let me know your thoughts on this. Until then.
-G.
 guzelle · Mon Nov 02, 2009 @ 09:40am · 0 Comments |
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