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Hello kiddies its Hairy Harry on 905.1 the bin! We're having a speacial week JUST FOR YOU! We need a new member here on the show so we need YOU to vote, we've picked out five people to vote from, unfortunately we couldnt get steve back out from the padded room again after what he did to dan. You know how to vote, we'll take the majority and add that guy!
This was my idea since i figure we need some fresh mea- i meannn....
new....talent...on the show...and feel free to ask ANY questions you may have im happy to answer them ANY time!
SO! you just go ahead and vote belo-...what?
OH RIGHT! i need to tell you the three people!
no no...three...we just got news from the office...yea....yea dead...
yea...steve...yep. yep..
So our four contestants are
Vinni- He's a Pscytzophrenic from italy who moved here opened a pizza place and poisoned his customers food because he thought they wouldnt like it and would come after him with guns and pitchforks. He has made us his pizza before to show us his worries and we had a little boy who was visiting his mom taste it for us in case it was poisoned. It was not so we ate some, and it was fine, he is still sensitive to this day about pizza.
im not....sure...how to say this kidies...its a three quarter circle with an arrow pointing up through the gap...well ******** that, he's off the list now so we're down to two people.
Vinni youve heard his story
Michelle! she was born in texas and has a problem that she cant seem to get over. She's. Just. Like. Me. for those of you who dont know kiddies i am here because i am NEARLY sane but not sane enough to get out of this hell hole... im a major sadist... with one exeption... i dont get turned on... the doctor called me a "possible paranoid pscytzophrenic". This is EXACTLY whats going on with her and so if you vote her in here it'd be the same as having me in here twice.
and the last one is little Bobby who i myself ******** up.
Hes a little boy, if youve ever watched El Report then he looks like timmy before he went through that abnormally fast and descusting change, when he was a KID! He is the small boy who i used as a taste tester for Vinni's pizza. What that turned out to have done was scar him for life so badly that he is now extremely suicidal and very good at it, he cant even touch a plastic spoon or string. He looks like little timmy gone emo. odd...his hair went black over his first night here...BUT! he gets to be with his mom!...well...he would have been able to...but he killed her...SO! place your vote and we can go right on ahead and we'll select the majority vote!
what?
oh....right...
and if we dont start getting better raitings within three weeks kiddies...we're getting shut down.
HAVE A GREAT ********' DAY!
and if youre newlyweds HAVE A GREAT DAY ********'!
...wow...totally different meanings just by changing one words possition in the sentance! SWEET!!