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My thoughts...
are like a heavy storm
Clouds roll in and
thunder booms
Eternally dark, lost in rain
Sometimes I'm caught in serenity
a moment of peace
The eye of the storm
When everything is peaceful
but you can still see the clouds
mystifying and dark, raining
still swirling around me


Yes, I made that up. Yes, it's exactly what it's like in my head. Frankly, it might be more chaotic. A bit more random. Like every rain drop from each of those clouds is a different thought from a different emotion... Some are similar and connect, to make a bigger drop, so when it hits me, it stays with me for a while.

Then again, my thoughts are solitary. They come to me in a strange way, pester me for a while, then leave. I never can get them back... So even if I do love a thought of mine, I can try to rethink it, but it will loose a little piece each time, rebuilding into something similar, but never the same.

And even so after that, all the thoughts in my head never come to me at the right time. I can be thinking about Algebra when I'm with my friends on the weekend, or be thinking about buying a book in the middle of Science. Either way I loose a good deal of time pondering.

Because of the fact I talk a lot, a few people think I like to talk about what I'm thinking. That's horribly wrong. I only share my thoughts with one person in the whole world... Because if I told anyone else, I probably would be more miserable than when I'm keeping them to myself.

When I say I'm "venting" it's about past events, NOT what I'm thinking. I kind of bring up something that bothered me and go with the flow. I put my talking on autopilot, and usually forget what we were talking about before the conversation ends.

I... I'm a really depressing person when I'm not with other people. My parents have threatened to send me to a psychologist on more than one occasion. Does that make me mentally ill, or does it just make them very paranoid? ...*concerned*

Gah, I've got that crease on my forehead that pops up when you concentrate really hard. It's only there because I'm concerned about writing in my journal anymore. I really like it... It's fun... I like the idea of people reading what I've got to say (sometimes) but I don't think I'll use it anymore... I think I'll retreat back to my notebook. My REAL journal...

A-and... If there was one word to describe me, I'd have to say:

Nervous.

All the time....