Forgive me in advance, for I know the next few paragraphs may expose me to be a silly girl, but I have kept this to myself in my head for far too long. You need to know.
I cannot believe just a week ago I considered suicide. I couldn't think of doing anything like that now. I cannot believe a week ago I hated my life and I thought I was worthless. My grades were great, I didn't have the stress of work, I knew God loved me and supported me, and I have actual friends that like me. But I was miserable. Absolutely miserable.
Then I started talking to an old flame that had never truly died, a girl named Auberdee Guajardo. I started dating her about two years ago(two years and almost two months but whos counting) but I was so young then and so easily swayed. I dumped her not once but twice. I hated myself because of it. I thought I had finally lost a love so pure, a love so strong. She had never done anything wrong, all she did was love a person not worth loving; me. I wanted to be free to flirt and mess with girls and for a while I didn't care, I became numb.
But anyways, she and I began talking and I realized that only talking and being with her made the numbness become sparks of life, made the empty miserable feeling vanish. I realized only then that I was in love with her. True love. Not the lovey dovey feeling(But I had that too) that any young love had, but the honest to God I want her and only her love. The kind that makes me feel protective not jealous, high but not stupid, wonderful but not vain. I wanted to start a family with her, and although I knew things can and will be tough I would stick with her forever. She had become part of me, I needed her like I needed oxygen.
Where was I? Oh yeah, well I soon found out that she felt the same way and I knew we were meant to be.
I love her. This love is more then I can truly describe.
I will fight for her, I will die for her. I will stand by her when no one else will. I will be a child and act silly to cheer her up. I know I will be hard to handle sometimes but I think only she could and willingly would put up with my s**t hahaha.
I will never let this go. Ever.
I
Love
Auberdee
Guajardo
1-14-2008 into forever
I cannot believe just a week ago I considered suicide. I couldn't think of doing anything like that now. I cannot believe a week ago I hated my life and I thought I was worthless. My grades were great, I didn't have the stress of work, I knew God loved me and supported me, and I have actual friends that like me. But I was miserable. Absolutely miserable.
Then I started talking to an old flame that had never truly died, a girl named Auberdee Guajardo. I started dating her about two years ago(two years and almost two months but whos counting) but I was so young then and so easily swayed. I dumped her not once but twice. I hated myself because of it. I thought I had finally lost a love so pure, a love so strong. She had never done anything wrong, all she did was love a person not worth loving; me. I wanted to be free to flirt and mess with girls and for a while I didn't care, I became numb.
But anyways, she and I began talking and I realized that only talking and being with her made the numbness become sparks of life, made the empty miserable feeling vanish. I realized only then that I was in love with her. True love. Not the lovey dovey feeling(But I had that too) that any young love had, but the honest to God I want her and only her love. The kind that makes me feel protective not jealous, high but not stupid, wonderful but not vain. I wanted to start a family with her, and although I knew things can and will be tough I would stick with her forever. She had become part of me, I needed her like I needed oxygen.
Where was I? Oh yeah, well I soon found out that she felt the same way and I knew we were meant to be.
I love her. This love is more then I can truly describe.
I will fight for her, I will die for her. I will stand by her when no one else will. I will be a child and act silly to cheer her up. I know I will be hard to handle sometimes but I think only she could and willingly would put up with my s**t hahaha.
I will never let this go. Ever.
I
Love
Auberdee
Guajardo
1-14-2008 into forever
Community Member