The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
Few women admit their age; Fewer men act it. <-HA... Oh well.
The word listen contains the same letters as the word silent.
It was all so different before everything changed.
Nostalgia isn't what it used to be.
Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.<- Lol, maybe.
War determines not who is right, but who is left. <-LOL
Don't take life too seriously -- you'll never get out of it alive.
A proverb is a short sentence based on long experience.
I just got lost in thought. It was unfamiliar territory. <- Lol
If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
When I'm not in my right mind, my left mind gets pretty crowded.
If you choke a smurf, what color does it turn?
Behind every successful man is a surprised woman. <- LOLOL... xD
It's OK to be social, just don't tell anyone about it.
"Everything has a purpose" he said for no reason at all. <- Lol, bad pun
A mighty oak is the result of a nut that held its ground.
Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
Despite the rising cost of living, it remains a popular activity.
Quantum mechanics: the dreams that stuff is made of.
If you try to fail, and succeed, which have you done?
If at first you don't succeed, destroy all evidence that you tried.
A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
My mind not only wanders, sometimes it leaves completely. <- Totally... Come back!!
If the #2 pencil is the most popular, why is it still #2?
The only substitute for good manners is fast reflexes.
I haven't lost my mind, it's backed up on disk somewhere... <- Ftw
Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
Warning: Dates in Calendar are closer than they appear.
Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else. <- Love that one.
What is a "free" gift ? Aren't all gifts free?
Consciousness: that annoying time between naps.
I don't suffer from insanity, I enjoy every minute of it.
Why is 'abbreviation' such a long word?
On the other hand, you have different fingers.
If you want breakfast in bed, sleep in the kitchen.
It's hard to make a comeback when you haven't been anywhere. <- Lol
If pro is opposite of con, then what is the opposite of progress?
Before they invented drawing boards, what did they go back to?
Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
Never put your finger where you wouldn't put your nose.
Disclaimer: I'm not as smart as I think I am. <-bish...
I know there's a Hell- I work in retail.
I'll try being nicer, if you try being smarter.
I'm out of bed and dressed. What more do you want?
Whoever says that the small things don't matter should try sleeping with a mosquito in the room.
Love your enemies, it gets them really confused.
Madness takes it's toll. Please have exact change.
Minds are like parachutes...They only function when open. <- Bish! xD
My mind wandered..and never came back.Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups. <- NEVER
Of all the things I've lost, I miss my mind the most.
Reality is for people who lack imagination.
SMILE...If you're not wearing underwear. <- Ah! Que mal!
Dogs come when you call. Cats have answering machines.
It IS as bad as you think, and they ARE out to get you.
If they don't have chocolate in heaven, I ain't going. <- Lol
If what you seek, you find not within. You will never find it without.
He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
Keybaord (n.): Instrument used to enter errors into a computer.
According to my calculations, the problem doesn't exist.
A day without sunshine is like, night.
Operator! Give me the number for 911! <- LOL
I took an IQ test and the results were negative. <- LOL
I plead contemporary insanity.
Funny, I don't remember being absent minded.
Cananyonehelpmefixthespacebaronmykeyboard?
Never raise your hands to your kids; it leaves your lower half unprotected.
Smile, it's the second best thing you can do with your lips.
Don't be irreplaceable; if you can't be replaced, you can't be promoted.
He's not dead, he's electroencephalographically challenged.
I wonder how much deeper the ocean would be without sponges.
Keep your words soft and sweet, just in case you have to eat them.
Excuses are the easiest things to manufacture, and the hardest things to sell.
Everything should be made as simple as possible, but no simpler.
Like Daddy always said: if you can't dazzle 'em with brilliance, baffle 'em with nonsense.
One nice thing about egotists: They don't talk about other people.
If man evolved from monkeys and apes, why do we still have monkeys and apes?
All information in this post is true in some sense, false in some sense, and meaningless in some sense.
The more I learn about the Internet, the more amazed I am that it works at all.
Why is it that when you transport something by car, its called a shipment, but when you transport something by ship, its called cargo? <- Lol, Car-go
Why do we play in recitals and recite in plays?
What do you do when you see an endangered animal that is eating an endangered plant?
The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population.
If something doesn't feel right, you're not feeling the right thing.
People who urge you to be realistic generally want you to accept their definition of reality.
Sometimes I think I understand everything then I regain consciousness.
You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say will be misquoted, then used against you.
Letting the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than putting it back.
When everything's coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
If a kid asks where rain comes from, I tell him, "God is crying." And if he asks why God is crying, I tell him, "Probably because of something you did."
Have you ever noticed.... Anybody going slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac? <- Probably
I'm desperately trying to figure out why kamikaze pilots wore helmets.
If you can stay calm, while all around you is chaos... then you probably haven't completely understood the situation.
There are three types of people in this world - those who can count, and those who can't.
Just because I'm paranoid, it doesn't mean they're NOT out to get me.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.
Buckle up! It makes it harder for the aliens to suck you out of your car.
I can only please ONE person per day. TODAY IS NOT YOUR DAY.
Good judgement comes from experience, Experience comes from poor judgement.
Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble wrap is cheap. YOU CHOOSE!!!
I knew something was wrong when my imaginary friends wouldn't talk to me...
Duct tape is like the force, it has a light side and a dark side and it holds the universe together.
Random bunny~!!
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(O.o)
(" wink UU(" wink
(O.o)
(" wink UU(" wink
