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Hello kiddies! Welcome to 905.1 the bin now and forever up and running!
Sorry it took so long, i had to convince everyone that he slipped and fell onto my fist and then wouldn't stop smashing his own head with it after he submitted his credit card and wrote in his will that he wanted us to go on with our sho-...what? fuuuuuck yooooouuuu...oh...yea..true...fine ill say it...do i have to?...fine...
uuuugh...welcome to happy ho-OOF!!!
(woman's voice): Welcome to 905.1 the bin happy hour-week! every day this week during a random hour throughout the day somewhere between 12 at noon and 9 at night you have a chance to win a prize! It could be a wonderful hat, some gold, a potion or even an exiting pair of SHOES!!!
Harry: Get the ******** off me woman!!
(woman): NEVAR!!! I the dreadpirate Dianne will conquer this! You will be my ship and this will be my mast!
Harry: GAH!!!! DON'T TOUCH ME THERE!!!!!
Dianne: What? It's just your-
Harry: I DONT CARE! ITS BOTHERSOME!!!
Dianne: But ive been on it a ton of times before!
Harry: That doesnt matter! I DONT LIKE IT WHEN PEOPLE TOUCH MY BELLY!!!!
Dianne: ooohh...fine...that only leaves one thing to be the mast.
Harry: NO! NOT THE NOSE EITHER!!! I AM NOT A SHIP!GET THE HELL OFF!!!
Dianne: fine.
Harry: Now. There's a song to sing. And you're late. So you get the lead singing role.
Dianne: WHAT?! you know i have stage fright!
Harry: weeelll its just a microphone. it is a recording after all, thats it.
Dianne: Okay. Where's my script?
(shuffling sounds)
Harry: Here. you start there.
Dianne: How vulgar!!!!!
Harry: well those are my parts.
Dianne: Oh. Okay! here goes!
Harry and Dianne: OOOOHHHHHHHH
Dianne (with Harry still singing "OOHHH" in the back): The snow is now melting the birds will be singing and Chris Kringle is starting to stop being fat. as frosty the snowman screams (********!!) as the wind blows his hat.
Harry: And the little cute elfsies are still covered in-
Dianne: FAT!
Harry: noooo....spooge.
(music keeps going)
Dianne: eeewww...why did we need that part?
Harry: If you had seen my first act when winter started you'd know.
Dianne: Your show is so vulgar.
Harry: Like youve got room to talk you chronic nympho!
Dianne: HEY!!! We're on a recording!
Harry: KEEP SINGING!
Dianne:...(deep breath) The sun is now shining and the flowers will bloom. Come july on the fourth day we'll make things go boom.
Harry: And the little boy who's ear meeeeelts from the sparks that will flyyyy will be laying on the ground and the word ******** willl heeee crryyyyyyyyyy
Dianne: such a sad thought...
Harry: I know. now time to end the song.
Harry and Dianne: Ohhhh the summer time is starting, the winter is ending. We lost a full hour of sleeeeeep, because the clocks have sprung upward but now we're done counting sheep.
Harry: ********!!!!!!
(music stops)
Dianne: What?! What happened?!
Harry: Oh nothing, thats the way i wrote the song. That was my last line.
Dianne: Oh...okay... so what now?
Harry: well its happy hour week...
Dianne: BYE PEOPLE! We're off for our own happy hour!
Harry: Bye kiddies! Till next time its Harry Bird and Dianne the nympho! on 905.1 the bin! remember to comment "Bump" or "Prize please" for a prize as often as you can to recieve a prize, a random person who commented in the days happy hour will get something. Spell it right no text speak or you dont get anythi-
Dianne: Come on! NOW! We're gone!
(running footstep sounds)