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So April is almost over, thats good I guess. So lately life has been stressful, and i have been doubting myself a lot. I mean yes I am very talented when it comes to drawing, but is that what I really want to do for a career? I mean I love science, its fascinating. I also like so many other things, and I just can't help but wonder if a career in art is for me.
My dresser broke Monday night, i had to squeeze it out from my small apartment, down the stairs to the outside. A heavy dresser wasn't fun to move, now all my clothes are in a bag. It's quite annoying actually, its hard to find my school uniform in the morning... now i need to buy a new dresser, hopefully something that wont break this time?
Ahh~ School, the building of education and new opportunity's, yea thats bullshit. In my school they treat everyone like a special ed student. maybe its because 60% of the student population is mentally retarded? Its kind of official now, i have no friends, i mean i have small chats with a few people but we mostly talk about class work, or some event that recently happened. Can't consider an acquaintance a friend. My old friends are bitches, so I avoid them, I really dislike drama whores. Another girl who was my friend is so retarded she makes the letter S look straight. She avoids me and I avoid her. My newest friend Amparo hasn't talked to me in like 2 weeks, Avoiding me much?? I really haven't done anything wrong to her, just told her to ******** off. She kept making fun of my acne, and how she doesn't have any pimples. She got me angry, can't blame me if i'm unselfconscious about how I look. I've never made fun of how she looked, her body is discombobulated but I've never made fun of it. Then theres the problem with everyone stareing at me. I know they have eyes but they don't need to show them to me. W hen ever I walk into the library, everyone looks at me, when I walk into the classroom, everyone looks at me, When I walk into the cafeteria, everyone looks at me. And its obvious their looking at me, i walk into the room everyone stops what their doing, looks at me, i turn around to see what their looking at and, its me. I don't want to sound conceited or paranoid but seriously can't people leave me alone? I don't dress weird, i smell good, My hair isn't ******** up, i don't do outrageous stuff, I just want to live my high school years as an invisible student. But my first year I have to deal with so much bullshit, like seriously, no one deserves this.
Ok so my school life isn't all about how frustrating my life is, other people in my school have problems, and they love taking out their anger on the quite people. Like me ._. The other day my classmate was angry about something involving her boy friend, she clawed me, she said she felt better after my arm became red... The sad part is that I have sensitive skin. thanks? Another time was that my teacher was having her own problems, she started talking to me about her issues out of no where... I didn't really want to hear some of the things I heard, but its ok. Its not like I could have become mentally scared from hearing how the inside of your v****a can be scared if your husband does something wrong in bed................. I get treated like a special ed reject in my school.. Its horrible....
Other than school drama, my family has had their problems, I've been avoiding their conversations lately. Trying not to get involved.. My grandma hasn't been so naggy lately, hopefully it stays that way?? My uncle has been pissing me off as usual.. The same old family bullshit, I guess my family likes it? So many problems they can avoid in their daily lives but they insist on leaving things to get worst. It's nice to know how stupid they are.
On the bright side, schools almost over, Can't wait until the summer. Not going to the beach this time, spent all summer last year at the beach too much sun is bad for the skin. I want to relax this summer, I'mma see if this year if I can get a summer job. maybe? I just want some money to save for myself. Doubt it though...
Next life update will be when ever I need to express myself again
V.o.♪
 TheForgottenSiren · Wed Apr 21, 2010 @ 11:44pm · 0 Comments |
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