Did you just call me a b***h?
Hell, a b***h is a dog, dogs bark, bark is on trees, trees are a part of nature, and nature is beautiful. So yeah, thanks for the compliment.
I want to be remembered as the girl who always smiles even when her heart is broken heart And the one that could always brighten up your day even if she couldn't brighten her own.
-------------------Girls
------------are like apples
--------on trees. The best ones
------are at the top of the tree
----The boys dont want to reach
---for the good ones because they
-are afraid of falling and getting hurt.
Instead, they just get the rotten apples
-from the ground that aren't as good,
but easy. So the apples at the top think
-something is wrong with them, when in
--reality, they're amazing. They just
---have to wait for the right boy to
----- come along, the one who's
----------- brave enough to
-----------------climb all
----------------- the way
-----------------to the top
----------------of the tree
if you agree with this post it somewhere
Beautiful
Inteligent
Talented
Creative
Honest
█ i was gonna give u this chocolate bar.
U..U
...(_/)
..(o_o )
█<( < but then i was like...
....U..U
(_/)
(O.O)
(>█< im sooo hungry!!!
.U....U
.(_/)
(^-^)
(>█ < then i ated it............
.U...U
She fainted in my bed, I had to check to make sure she was alright by taking off her clothes, then had to keep her warm with my body... then it just got naughty.
God made you , Then he made me , Then he whispered , " Meant to Be "
Friends are like bras, close to the heart and always there for support.
There's a married couple...
The wife tapes a dollar bill under her belly button
The husband comes over and asks "What's that?"
The wife replies "The dollar menu. All you can eat under a dollar!"
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…………../……………….,-“ ( . . o)_º)
…………./………………./ . . .“-~“ . . ¯¯¯¯¯””~-,
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…………|…………….....| . . . . . . . . . . . . . /:::::::
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…………|……………….. . . . ._ . . . . . . . . “-,„„„-”
………....|………………..”-, . .(..”~,------------~”
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……….,~” . ¯”~,……………….¯”~~-”,-………….,-“-,”~, . .”-,
…….,-“….,~”,-~”…..-‘.,„„„………………”-,……….| . . “-, ”-, . |
……..,,-“,~”……/…..,-“ . .”-,…………..’-,.”-,……..) . . . .”-,,-“
……….’-,……..(,--,.,-“ . . . . |…………….”-,”-,,(“-~”-,””~~~”
………….¯”””¯,-“, .), . . . . ,-“……………….”-,,.”..,-“
……………….’-, .”.,“-,_„„~”……………………”.”-,”
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……………………......./ . . . . . . |--„„„„„„--,~””¯ .¯.)
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………………………( . . . . . ,. . , “)……”-, . . . . .) ,’-“
………………………..”~-,„_ . .)_,|-“……….¯”””
its peaunt butter jelly time,
its peaunt butter jelly time,
oh where you at
oh where you at?
"Hello? Is this the sex line?"
*in a bored voice* "Hello, you sound sexy I guess."
"You guess? I don't think this is gonna work out."
"Well okay, see ya dad."
Spell "I hop" out loud then add "ness" to the end of it razz
Spell "I cup" out loud then add "funny colors" to the end of it razz
A customer was bothering the waiter in a restaurant. First, he asked that the air conditioning be turned up because he was too hot, then he asked it be turned down cause he was too cold, and so on for about half an hour.
Surprisingly, the waiter was very patient, he walked back and forth and never once got angry. So finally, a second customer asked him why he didn’t throw out the pest.
“Oh, I really don’t care or mind,” said the waiter with a smile. “We don’t even have an air conditioner.”
An Alsatian went to a telegram office, took out a blank
form and wrote: “Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof. Woof.”
The clerk examined the paper and politely told the dog: “There are only
nine words here. You could send another Woof for the same price.”
“But,” the dog replied, “that would make no sense at all.”
A young girl was going on a date. Her grandmother said: “Sit here and let me tell you about those young boys. He is going to try and kiss you, you are going to like that, but don’t let him do that.
He is going to try and feel your breast, you are going to like that but don’t let him do that. But most important, he is going to try and get on top of you to have his way with you. You are going to like that, but don’t let him do that. It will disgrace the family.”
With that bit of advice, the granddaughter went on her date. The next day she told grandma that her date went just like she had predicted: “Grandma, I didn’t let him disgrace the family. When he tried, I just turned over, got on top of him, and disgraced His family…”
Granny fainted….
sex is a sensation, caused by temptation, a guy sticks his location, in a girl's destination, to increase population, of the next generation, do you get my explanation? or do you need a demonstration?
ROSES ARE RED, LEMONS ARE SOUR, OPEN YOUR LEGS, AND GiVE ME AN HOUR, KiSSiNG iS A HABiT, FUKiNG iS A GAME, GUYS GET ALL THE PLEASURE, GiRLS GET ALL THE PAiN, 10 MiNUTES OF PLEASURE, 9 MONTHS OF PAiN, 3 DAYS iN THE HOSPiTAL, A BABY WiTHOUT A NAME, THE BABY iS A b*****d, THE MOTHER iS A WHORE, THiS WOULDA NEVER HAPPENED iF THE RUBBER HADENT TORE!! SEX iS LiKE MATH YOU SUBTRACT THE CLOTHES, ADD THE BED, DiViDE THE LEGS, AND PRAY TO GOD YOU DONT MULTiPLY, ROSES ARE RED, GRASS iS GREEN, OPEN YOUR LEGS, AND iLL FiLL YOU WiTH CREAM, HiCKORY, DiCKORY, DOCK, THE b***h WAS SUCKiNG MY c**k, THE CLOCK STRUCK TWO, i DUMPED MY GOO, AND DUMPED HER TO THE END OF THE BLOCK, SEX iS GOOD, SEX iS FiNE, DOGGY STYLE AND 69, JUST FOR FUN, OR GETTiN PAiD, EVERYONE LiKES GETTiN LAiD, SEX iS EViL, SEX iS A SiN, SiNS ARE FORGiViN, SO STiCK iT iN!! ROSES ARE NiCE, ViOLETS ARE FiNE, iLL BE THE SiX, iF YOU BE THE NiNE, EAT ME, BEAT ME, BiTE ME, BLOW ME, f** ME, SUCK ME VERY SLOWLY, iF YOU LiKE iT, DONT BE SASSY, USE YOUR TONGUE, AND MAKE iT NASTY!!
Rose are red,
Violets are blue,
God made me pretty,
What happened to you?
1. Get 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they aren't looking.
2. Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. Make a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the rest rooms.
4. Walk up to an employee and tell him/her in an official tone,
" 'Code 3' in housewares".... and see what happens.
5. Go the Service Desk and ask to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. Move a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. Set up a tent in the camping department and tell other shoppers you'll invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the bedding department.
8. When a clerk asks if they can help you, begin to cry and ask,
"Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. Look right into the security camera; & use it as a mirror, and pick your nose.
10. While handling guns in the hunting department, ask the clerk if he knows where the anti - depressants are.
11. Dart around the store suspiciously loudly humming the "Mission Impossible" theme.
12. In the auto department, practice your "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. Hide in a clothing rack and when people browse through,
say "PICK ME!" "PICK ME!"
14. When an announcement comes over the loud speaker, assume the fetal position and scream..
"NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
15. Go into a fitting room and shut the door and wait a while; and then yell, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!
16. Get several bouncy balls and throw them down an aisle shouting "Pikachu, I choose you!"
BEWBIES ATTRACT ***** x3
