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just a few more
days days days C:
of school.
tomorrow = finals which will be easy
my step-dad is coming home tonight ( D: )
I'm still wearing shorts tomorrow, wheather he likes it or not. I wanna walk home and when I did today, I wore jeans and I nearly died!
But it helped that Zaidee and I went to the elementary/middle school, filled up some latex gloves with water, and threw them at each other XD
that was fun.
But my feet hurt like hell from walking so much!!
we went from the school, to the store, to the elementary school. to the library, back to the school, to town, past the in town park, my house, to the school, back to my house, then I stayed there and took a shower. XD
Now I'm babysitting, and I feel like cosplaying.. XD ( thanks haley )
I need some suggestions though. C: I really want a main goal, other than dressing up as Masha. > u >
I need some cat ears anyway... Maybe I should get some loveless cosplays... hmmm.....
I bought 2 classilkes the other day... ummm... I'm about to get more gold from another commission... god I'm bored. D:
October 20th, happy birthday me. Most kids would be happy, expectant of surprises and gifts. But I don’t expect such things, and I don’t feel such joy for this day. My dad gives me what he calls a gift, every year it’s the same. The pain, the words he says, and the way he drinks after he’s done treating me so horribly. He had sharp green eyes too, like me, only mine were darker. His hair was black, just like mine, only messier. We had the same fair skin, intimidating stares, and hateful voices. I don’t know if I look like my mom or not, I’ll never find out. Because this day, the day I was born, she died. Because of me, and I’m reminded of that every day, and especially today.
“It’s your fault.” He would say, blood on the tips of jagged glass beer bottle in one hand, blood covering the other. “Such a worthless piece of trash.”
People always wondered why I never went anywhere without a jacket. The scars were too visible, they would ask questions.
“Look at you, pathetic, you can’t fight back.” He screamed, lashing at my body again and again, then a kick. “Without you she would be alive and happy.”
This was my only chance, my room was safe, and it had a lock. My fingers clawed the wet carpet, my nails scooped up the blood and I struggled to my feet. Good thing he was drunk, he fell trying to catch me before I ran to my room. By now, things were spinning, my body felt cold on the inside, but hot on the outside. The fear was obvious in my eyes, causing my hands to shake harshly when I locked the door after it slammed behind me.
It was only a few minutes later when I was saved, but it happened so quickly. Another beating, blood was involved too, but this time I didn’t run to my room. I didn’t go hide under the table. I didn’t stay on the floor.
“Do you know what I live through every day?” He said, dropping his hands by his sides and turned away. He was tired now. Good.
My hands hurt from gripping this handle too hard, but my body burned more. He wouldn’t expect this, but I still wanted to see his face when he found out that I wasn’t pathetic. “Giving up so early?” I said, weakly as I stood to my feet, that one hand behind my back.
I watched him turn to look at me with those eyes again, “What was that?” He asked, smiling. “You didn’t get enough?” He stepped closer, close enough.
I looked up, returning that crazy look of hatred and rage as my hand returned to my side and thrust at his stomach, but I kept my eyes locked onto his as they widened and he opened his mouth but nothing came out.
Was I like him now? Hurting someone to let out my frustration? Was this what he felt every time he had hit me, or cut me? The blood, so warm against my skin, hands still gripping that handle so hard. Who’s pathetic now? I said in my head, backing up a little as he fell to his knees, then onto his stomach swimming in his own blood, grabbing at my leg.
I only kicked his hand away, staring down at him, then turned dropping the knife and ran towards the door. As I exited, I looked back with a blank look to watch his motionless body. I knew he was still alive though, his breaths were weak but still loud to my ears. That’s what I heard his whispering voice gurgle: “Happy Birthday Mamoru, I hope you live a long ******** life...”
I was walking now. Where? I didn’t even know, not until someone had stopped me. They had spoken to me, but I said nothing, there was nothing to say really. It was over; I didn’t have to be scared anymore… But I still felt empty, even when that person took me to a place with more people. Everyone asked questions, but soon they stopped.
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