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I was always alone. The big fat geeky girl. I didn't understand it. How was I so different from them? Just because I read a lot and was very smart doesn't mean they could treat me like that! I had a few pimples around but everyone had them. Then it hit me like a brick wall. They're JEALOUS! I was very pretty with deep tan skin and thick wavy brown hair not to mention my chocolate brown eyes. I never wore make up I thought it was a waste of time. I always wore pants and some skinnies but no one understood why I never was in the popular group. The reason why was because I never liked hurting people. I was always the quiet girl in the back. Never looking up. I had ugly nerdy friends. I always said they were beautiful and wonderful. I always made friends with the people who had no friends because I know the feeling of being trapped around people snickering and say "your worthless" I was constantly reminded how I could join the popular group. I always thought, "And be what? POPULAR/ Why? to think I can rule the school and be a person people wanted me to be? A fake? Tell people off and be a bully to a harmless person??? " I hated how they treated my friends and me. Like dirt on there shoes? I was always a kind person. I was sarcastic sometimes. I always hung out with boys. I was the girl you would want as a friend not an enemy.

I always wanted the best for people and I could never hold a grudge. My life was like an animal. You cage it so much that it turns into hatred and fear. Love on it, and it will be adorable and kind. My life would spiral like a roller coaster. I learned lessons and got my heart broken so much where I quickly learned not to trust so I don't get hurt as much. I would be brave and silly around people. But I thought of cutting because my dad seemed like he didn't love me. My mom was getting farther from me. My grandpa and grandma seemed to space out and my brother just hates me. They say if you cut yourself, you feel the pleasure course through you and you don't feel pain. You feel excited for MORE! I have cut myself but not deep enough to draw blood because I was scared of what would happen next. I cired every night thinking my life would be any better tomorrow.As life would go on, I would think of what would go on the next day. The solitude welcomed me with wide harms of pure hate and mistrust. I would like to move but the hands hold a crusty knife of pain and suffering of other teenagers. ******** my Life.