When the rain pours so hard and your blinded by the heavens tears all you hear is the boom of thunder in the air. White flashed of lightning are the only light to the world around you. Though in the chaos of the storm all you can do is smile and laugh. You feel strangly free, like a part of you that no one knows about can be unleashed. Yur body moves as if on its own and you just don’t care as your body starts to dance.
Drenched head to toe your laughter rises abouve the roar of thunder and your body sways and spins in graceful movements. The dance is wild and entrancing with water clinging to every curve of your body. Your hair is a wild mess from the rain and wind whipping it across your face and every other direction imaginable.
No more hiding, no mopre pretending. Freedom finally! Brain swirling with a strange high you don’t even notice that your being watched. The eyes you’ve seen for years. Peircing and filled with a never ending pain and torment. Who, your brain questions every time you allow yourself to stop and think about it.
He, you realize the face you see is a guys, though who’s you can never tell. Everytime you look at it you feel as if you should know it, yet for some reason every time you try.
This is my life, one of hidden secrets and fractions of my memory that are just out of reach. Though as the rain dies away so dose any feeling of knowing and being so close to the truth. For about three years now I have felt this way and each day it eats at me. Sometimes I wonder if I am going insane and the feeling of being watched is just my imagination. Am I going insane, I wonder as I find myself having already walked inside.
My little apartement was perfect for one though some times it’s size seemed to suffocate me, exspecially when it rained and the feeling of eyes watching me becomes overwelming. Standing there soaked to the bone I had to wrap my arms around myself as I tightly closed my eyes to help stop the shivering. I could still feel those eyes on me and can almost picture them in my mind. I’m so close that I keep thinking that if I reach out I could touch those eyes but I’m so scared.
Do I really want to know what or who has been watching me for these three years? What will happen to me when I do know? Will I still be the same me, the same Destiny Rose Mariposa? These thoughts run threw my mind on a daily basis and they scare me beyond belief.
“I don’t even know who I am so why should I be afraid?”
 Today Tomorrows Yesterday · Sun Aug 08, 2010 @ 02:48am · 0 Comments |
