I've never had the life I wanted, nor dreamed of. There was always at least one thing, that made everything horrible. So I thought, when I grow up I can make a life for myself. A life where I can do and be whoever I want. Live just for me, not worrying about everyone else. ME, ME, ME. I dreamed of it as a kid. Growing up, living by myself, getting a boyfriend and being a student. I had the life planned out in my head. Going to cafés with my friends, going out with my boyfriend etc. Every single detail was made up. I was to have my dog Kafka, wear long coats, high heeled boots and a funny looking long scarf. I would let my hair grow long, smile all the time and have intelligent conversations with my friends from uni. But dreams are nothing more than dreams. For a while they are nice to think of, but in the end they become a burden, because they'll never come true.
Even now I can't change everything, I can't erase or rewrite my past. So i stumble through life, unfulfilled searching, but never finding.
