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This is a bitchin' post. And I don't mean bitchin' in a good way, I mean bitchin' by I am literally bitching.

In the future, I'll probably tell myself to STFU but.. oh well. Dear future self, this is what I'm thinking right now, so kindly understand and eff off. Thank you.

I'm having trouble seeing my talents. I'm always normal. And god.. I'm going to hate saying this, but I really want to be better than other people at something. And something worthwhile. I don't see any talent within me.

And while I do I have skills, I'm never the best. At anything. I want to be the best at something, for once. Is that so much to ask? Just once. I don't know what it feels like to feel so proud of what you've done. All the work I've done? I just think that it's normal compared to others. I'm not proud at all. It's ridiculous.

I'm trying my best here, yet I'm always getting put to second place. Never first. I don't know what's wrong with me, nor do I know what I'm doing wrong.

~Vanessa