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I want to stop my life forever
and cry in the dark,
slip into a hole and
fill my life with endless banter.
I want to run into his arms
and bury myself into his chest.
I don't know him but he will comfort me.
I need someone to be there for me.
I think I just need someone period.

My senses are on high,
thinking again of my journal.

I want people to understand the things they are not hearing
They listen but get overwhelmed with my lips moving.
They see me but forget to look deeper because they hear me.
It's like, I'm the only one who can feel them in this way.
Like a dark ocean with swirling waters.
Beneath the sea it's hard to find your way...

I treat myself with alcohol for now.
Today.
Yesterday.
Since I made the grave mistake.
I trusted her again.
And since then
I have thought of how to get back at her.
The malice growing to an evil snake.
I feel like lashing out at everyone,
which gets me thinking,
why can't I break that promise?
What EXACTLY did I promise?

There's a reason I love the psychotic movies best,
we share a love/hate relationship with our moms.
Movies are the best of friends to have
but they can't give me the one thing I need now:
the loving arms of a friend.
Without words, I need an embrace.
I need the comfort of sleeping in their arms.
Like that day in Vegas, all I need is a good cry.