When I realized that I fell for you I try to deny these feelings. I never thought I ever fall for you but as time goes by I can't help but to follow you on forums and rallies...Am I a secret admirer or was I just bored? Truth revealed as my dream showed signs...I can't stop forgetting my ex but I needed to move on.You were always there,someone I wanted to follow and see everyday as you poof into the rally I'm in.I get so excited,so flustered,so...confused...I admired you even more. Looking at your interests and your photos I always wondered how nice it would've been to kiss those luscious lips of yours. My imaginations run wild!!! My dreams deeper than they're supposed to be!!! Why do I play you...Why didn't I take the chance when you asked back in September...No matter how much I tried to push the thoughts,the texts,the poems,and sweet comments from you...You wished me things that will be if I was with you...if I was your boo...Sweet words so tempting.
You may say it was your plan all along to get me but I still don't believe you. You were quite a man of strength,determination,and patience. I admired you for that. I never met a man who'd impress me and wait for me. You were the Best...You have treated me with Respect at the beginning...but what happened? A man who was so kind and sweet has turned against me in Hate and a Death threat...I wish you knew how hurt I feel because I never regret being with you...I was taken by you and the future. I loved you so much!!! I desired you...to see you...to hear your voice...to embrace you...I'm afraid of losing you but you broke me so many times...I try to pick up the pieces and hope to work things out again. I was hoping to be as patient and determined to work things out as you have tried to get me. I never cheated on you because I'm too inlove with you...I have no clue what I did wrong and no matter how many calls I make, how many texts, and messages I send you...I can never seem to reach you.I wanted to be someone you loved...I wanted to be that Special One. I'm not gonna drown myself in my tears or choke on my words anymore! I love you but how can a person continue to love if they're being constantly shut out and cut off...Call me all the names you want and wish me death if you like~ To wish a person death and no longer exist is the lowest of the low...I never wished you such a thing because I never regret meeting you and I'm just too inlove with you and glad to have you in my life. Kenny...if you ever remembered I always said,"I wish I was there with you~&3" or "I love hearing your voice~&3" I loved so much about you but I can't stand it when you delete me off and never answer my calls without a god damn good reason! I don't know what to do anymore and I don't want to continue my life wondering; What did I do Wrong?...If it makes you Happier- I wish you the Best in life~Travel the world,Carpe diem! Hopefully someday.If you let me...I would love to see you.
I Love You but I can't do this anymore...Maybe you were right. I needed to focus more on college and my future.Even though I wanted "You" in my future...I guess it won't happen.Love You with All My Heart and Always...&3
P.S.- I could never go to sleep without having you on my mind each and every night wishing you were next to me. (Explains why I'm up 2a.m. typing this out...because you were on my mind~</3)
-Cokie
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